sin & sorcery

chapter 12

TW for drug use, self-harm (cutting), suicidal thoughts & graphic violence

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"At least die with some dignity."

Edo-Natsu's words hung in the air, and before Natsu could look away the trigger was pulled. Faust's head snapped back, eyes wide in terror as a spray of blood drenched the floor and wall behind him. Faus t's body crumpled , head hitting the ground with a sickening crack.

There was so much blood. Joekel's neck was still pumping it out, deep lines from where Rogue had taken his life, and the puddle spread across the floor to mingle with Faust's blood. Edo-Natsu turned around, looking at Gray with sadness and anger in his eyes.

The air tasted like copper and Natsu gagged, unable to take his eyes off Faust's unseeing corpse, off Joekel's still-twitching body, off the hard way that Sting looked at Edo-Natsu, and-

Natsu gasped, snapping out of sleep and rolling over on his side, leaning over the edge of the bed to throw up.

"Fuck," he whispered, retching but bringing up nothing but bile that burned the back of his throat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Tears forced themselves from his eyes and he couldn't hold them back, covering his mouth to muffle the sob that ripped from his throat.

He looked over at Gray's sleeping form – his shirt was off and he was lying on his side, hand out where Natsu had been holding it. Natsu slid out of bed quietly, not wanting to wake him. He grabbed his shirt and tugged it on – it was still stained with blood and he gagged at the smell, but he had nothing else to wear.

The door pinged as he opened it and he winced, looking back to Gray, but his partner didn't wake. Natsu sighed in relief and let the door slide shut behind him, then looked both ways down the hall. It seemed like it was late morning – he could hear people moving around in the common area and he headed the other way, away from the voices.

Natsu's head pounded and his throat ached from trying to vomit. He rubbed his eyes as he wandered aimlessly, feeling dull and listless. His chest hurt, everything was heavy. All he could see, over and over, was Faust's head snapping back, the spray of blood, the-

"-you okay?" Natsu blinked, looking up to see Edo-Gray standing in front of him, brow furrowed in concern. "What are you doing out here?"

"Out... where?" Natsu asked, blinking and looking around. He'd ended up in a wide hallway with several open doorways, one of which Edo-Gray was standing in, looking puzzled. Behind him were several panels that were blinking and beeping.

"It's the guard station," Edo-Gray explained, looking back into the room. "For the cells. Prisoners."

"Oh." Natsu licked his lips. "Were there... prisoners?"

"Mm." Edo-Gray brushed his bangs out of his face. "Erza freed them. Too late though, they'd all been Purged."

Natsu sighed. "I'm sorry."

Edo-Gray shrugged, then stepped out into the hallway, letting the door to the guard's office slide closed behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest – he wasn't wearing a jacket, just a dark shirt that still had a hole in it from getting stabbed. It looked like he'd washed his face, but there were still traces of blood on his arms and neck.

"Hungry?" Edo-Gray asked, nodding back the way Natsu had come. Natsu shook his head, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Edo-Gray sighed. "Didn't sleep well?"

"No," Natsu whispered. His stomach was both begging him to eat, and warning him not to. If there had been anything in there, he would have thrown it up already. "I can't..."