Outlander Fanfiction: In the Mist

Shadows

I laid next to Jamie, secure in his arms with my head resting on his chest; listening to the steady, predictable beat of his heart.

We laid there for what must have been hours, no words spoken between us, just brief glances and touches to confirm that we were there and that we were safe.

The revelations of the past few days weighed heavy on us, but at the same time a great weight had been lifted. Keeping something like that to yourself is an unbearable burden that no one can, nor should bear alone.

There was a kinship in it as well. Knowing that we both went through something terrible at the hands of the same man brought us closer than ever.

I often wondered what would have happened if my parents hadn't died when I was still so young. Would I have been happier? Would everything have turned out differently? Or would it all have resulted the same anyway?

And now I wondered if maybe those terrible things were meant to happen to us. Because if it hadn't, I probably would have never met Jamie.

And perhaps it was still too early to tell what my life might be like in a few years. If all the hell and pain I went through would make me a better person, or fulfill some purpose greater than myself.

I wondered if Jamie felt the same.

He'd revealed the extent of what Randall had done to him only a few hours earlier, and I knew that it was still fresh on his mind.

His body was rigid beneath me, he laid there, frozen. One arm was wrapped around me while his eyes were pinned to the wooden beams that supported the ceiling.

"I already knew what happened before you told me. Not all of it, but some." I whispered to him, disturbing the stillness of the room.

I moved my head so that my chin rested on his chest, so I could see his face.

He looked down at me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Did ye now?"

"Mhm." I returned the smile, my left hand drawing patterns over his heart that only I knew the meaning of.

"Well, are you going to tell me exactly how you knew?" He nudged me, after I neglected to continue.

"I had a dream. Remember when you woke me up, asking if I was alright?"

He nodded, thinking back only a few hours.

"I saw it happen, I was there. You getting flogged the second time, while I watched helplessly from the audience. Except every time the lash tore at your back, I could feel it tearing at me."

I swallowed, my throat feeling suddenly dry.

"I begged and cried not only for the pain to stop, but for you as well. Only I was invisible. It was like I wasn't even there."

I was so absorbed in the memory of the dream I almost didn't notice when Jamie took me back into his arms.

"Hush, say no more mo ghraidh." He whispered into my hair, so softly I just barely heard it.

"'Mo Ghraidh'...you've called me that before, what does it mean?

Jamie had been rubbing small circles on my back with his thumb, but he hesitated for a moment when he heard my question.

"Ah... it means 'my love'" He put simply, continuing to draw patterns on my back.

I pulled away and looked up at him, watching the dim light from the fire dance on his face—cutting his features into perfect geometric planes.

Even though it was dark, I could see the sparkle in his baby blue eyes.

"I love you." I breathed, and felt tears beginning to form just beneath the surface.

How many days had it been? Three—four? A few days ago he was a stranger that walked into my tavern, and even then I knew there was something about him.

It may have only been a few days, but to me, it felt like a lifetime. And I knew he felt the same.