Hardly Living

At this hour

                   ( In Clint's room )

Soft sobs could be faintly heard echoing the walls of Clint's room. Clint stares at the picture of his lost family, his bottom lip quivered as he took in a breath and held it in for a second, only to release it at once with more tears running down his cheeks.

Clint thought of the times he spent with them. When he would play dolls with his daughter and how he would help his wife cook. The good times he had with them.

Clint remembers the screams and cries from people, the night of the fire. He remembers the screams of his wife and kid begging him for help as he was being pulled away by the fire men. He remembers the emptiness and the guilt he felt when they told him that they couldn't save his family. To this day he can't stop blaming himself for letting them die. He, to this day wishes that it had been him instead of them, his family.

Clint sighs and puts the picture back under his pillow. He stares at the floor and covers his face trying to calm down. But calming down isn't something he does very well.

        ( Minutes later in bucky's room )

Waking up from a nightmare all sweaty is something that Bucky has gotten used to. The horrible memories of being brainwashed over and over again seemed to be the only thing that he couldn't forget. He'd often wake up shaking and panting, but tonight.. tonight was different.

Bucky woke up slowly to the sound of someone's cries. He was put off and a little uncomfortable by the situation, he didn't know what to do.
Bucky laid on his bed staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. He was able to figure out who was crying and he was surprised when he figured it was Clint.
Clint always had a smile on him, he was energetic and funny.. Clint was everything Bucky was not.
For Bucky , hearing Clint's cries at four in the morning was something that sparked curiosity in him.

Bucky gets up from his bed and looks for his pants.
He'd adapted to a habit of sleeping only on his boxers, god knows why. He puts them on, almost sure their inside out and just walks out of his door and down the hallway to Clint's room.

Once at Clint's door he pauses , takes a deep breath.. and knocks.

                       ( Clint's POV )

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK!

I get jump up from my bed and dry my tears as fast as I can. I walk to my drawer that's to damn far away if you ask me, and put on a pear of pants. I quickly rasp out my voice and slowly open the door. It's Bucky...

"Hey Buckyboo~"
Yup failed at sounding normal.

"You look like shit."
He stares at me with a slight smirk and I roll my eyes.

"Thanks, how charming."

I'd say sarcasm is one of my strong points but nobody beats tony.

"Can I come in?"

"What...uh yeah."

I let him in to my room and he walks over to my bed. He sits down and smiles at me. I sigh and close the door.

" it's dark... " 
He says as he slide a hand over the covers of my bed. I walk over to him and sit next to him.

" I uh... Like the lights of the city.."

"You do have the best view. "

I smile and look out the window, the restless sea of blinking lights and tall structures looked beautiful.
Remembering why I was still up at this hour, tears start forming on my eyes.. forgetting that I wasn't alone.. I start to cry. An instant later I was being pulled in to a hug by bucky's arms.
I'm too tired to fight him off.. so I just hug him back and keep crying.

                  ( Buckys POV )

Having him in my arms.. feeling him shake so close to me, is a feeling I hope to never forget. He's warm and soft and I can't help but to wonder what could have caused this.

I rest my head on top of his head and let out a sigh. I slightly smile and start rubbing circles on his back, and for some reason I started humming. Humming a song whose name I forgot, but it's stuck with me through all those brainwashing sections, a song that reminded me of the human I had once been. A song I won't ever forget.

I hear his sobs go down and his grip on me lighten. I try to move away but Im stoped half way by Clint. I look down at him and he shakes his head no. I take the hint and move my right hand over to his face. I lift it up slowly and I'm mesmerized by what it is.. Clint crying. He's Gorgeous..
I slide my thumb over his eye and dry away a tear.  I softly smile at him and shift forward, pressing our foreheads together. He's burning.. I close my eyes and with my left arm i move his body closer to mine.

" do you... wanna talk about it...? "

Clint shakes his head no, I take a deep breath and open my eyes.

" Okay.. "

We stay like this for a while, in this comfortable Silence... in this cliche situation that comes out of a romance novel, and I don't hate it at all.

After a while longer I pull away and he holds me back again. I smile and take his hands on mine then get up.

" I'm not leaving.. but you should lay down. Come here.. "

He nods and gets up, not letting go of my hand as I escort him to his preferred side of the bed. He lays down and I smile down at him. With my other hand I carefully remove his hearing aids and put them on his night stand.

" I'm gonna have to let go of you're hand for a bit.. " I say and he stared at my lips. He nods and slowly let's go of my hand. I quickly tuck him in and walk over to the other side of the bed and lay on top of the covers next to him. He turns to face me and he shakes his head no. I stare at him looking for an explanation and he lifts up the covers and points inside. I sigh and smile.

"Okay.."

He nods and I slowly get inside the covers with him. As soon as I get comfortable he takes my hand and rests his head on my shoulder. 

" goodnight Clint.. "

( hello! I hope it's not too confusing.. this is the first time I ever publish anything and well I would really appreciate some feedback on this. I'm sorry if I miss spell anything, I'm still a little new to English and am trying my best to check for any mistakes. Thank you for reading this far. Till next chapter!)

                                    
    
                                     (❤️)