The Hel Experience

-4 Years Left Until Ragnarok- Svartalfaheim

I must admit, even queens can feel alone sometimes. Causing fear to spread your name isn't the way to make friends, or even keep those that you do have, but I have learned that it is possible as long as someone really cares.

I know I've been a terrible friend to Balder. For god’s sake, I dragged him into a war, but he was all I had and he knows it. Even now he still stands by my side, desperately trying to comfort me on bad days, on which I'm having trouble breathing and getting through the hours when there's acid slowly tearing me apart.

The first time I met him, I hated him, but after some time, he was all I had left.

Twilight was pulling through the city. From where I sat on the trapeze, I could see through a hole in the tent's canvas and watch stars glitter in the sky like shards of glass. My hands were folded tightly around the cords as I moved back and forth slowly, dancing through the air.

I had a satisfied smile on my lips. If I dared to look down at the ground below me, I'd be able to see the money that had been thrown at the performers: coins half hidden in the sand.

And it was all mine.

"Hel!" Balder's voice sounded distant, but I knew he was only ten meters down.

The smile became a grin. Locking my hands in front of my chest, my arms thrown around the cords, I began swinging more actively to the barely audible sound of music playing in the background. It was pleasantly silent, pleasantly loud.

"Come up here," I replied, but I was uncertain whether or not he could hear it.

"Come down. Please."

"But it's beautiful, trust me." This time I looked down, sending a glance over my shoulder. Though my black hair slipped over my shoulder and into the way, I could still see his silhouette, like a piece of paper in the distance. "I'm not coming down until you've been up. Come on, you can't die anymore!"

"But you can," he hissed, sounding surprisingly annoyed. Probably because he knew how stubborn I could be. He started moving towards the ladder on the other side of the tent and disappeared out of sight until his, clearly pissed off, face appeared on the small platform only 5 meters away. "I'm here. Now please come down."

"Stop acting so paranoid! If I wouldn't fall from this if I were only one meter from the ground, why would I fall from it now?"

"Who said you wouldn't fall all the way down there?"

"Are you calling me an idiot?" I asked, arching a brow. His response was a deep sigh. "Look, Balder, if I kill myself by falling, nothing is going to change. I promise. Now come over here and sit with me." His mouth opened. "No, we don't have important things to do." It shut. And opened again. "No, we'll have plenty of time for work later. Look, you're stressed. Don't even try denying it. So, for the time being, come here and look at the stars through the hole in our crappy circus tent with me?"

It took a while, but after a few minutes of me refusing to move, he rolled his eyes, grabbed the other trapeze, and almost hit me on his way over. Once he'd calmed it down and it only swayed slightly, like mine, he turned to face me. "You're practically a five year old child."

"Not denying it." My eyes scanned the area for black smoke floating in the air, or a human-like shape standing against the wall, but there was nobody and nothing there. Just us, the sound of a music box turning slowly, and the height. "You know, it's nice to know you care about my life more than I do."

"It's not hard."

"I know. Still, thanks."

"You're quite welcome. On that subject, can we go down then?" he asked. When I looked over, I noticed his white knuckles desperately clinging onto the chords of the trapeze, and bit down on my lip to prevent myself from laughing.

"I like it up here, though. It's a nice plain to try explaining my gratitude for you being enough of an idiot to stick around." I could feel him watch me as I spoke. "You're the only one to... You know, not leave me behind in the dust like some terrible criminal. You know I, uh, would stick up... for... you..."

"A person without emotions trying to explain her emotions. You're welcome."

"I have emotions."

"But no fear. Now can we go down?"

A mischievous giggle followed. I reached over, almost losing my balance and falling to my immediate death, and was about to push him off his seat, when I remembered I couldn't and never would be able to.