The Hel Experience

-1 year left till Ragnarok- Anaheim-

Looking back now, Odin must have been concerned when the winter didn't end. He'd never told others about what he'd seen, but according to the sad, starved and ugly spirit he left behind, the vision his goggle-eye had shown him, included a winter- longer than any there had ever been before, that would occur right before the end of the world.

Myself, I saw it as no more than a stupid inconvenience. Snow made it hard to convince people to come outside and the progress I'd made in the last year was slowing. Not that I didn't already have quite a number of soldiers by then- in fact, I didn't really have anywhere to leave them anymore- but I didn't know if I had enough yet or not. Especially since the time was nearing for me to show Loki my progress before we would take any of the next steps in our plan, which we named Ragnarok- the twilight of the gods. It just created more stress, and stress could create more faults.

There was no room for error.

Over time, I watched Balder change. Eight months ago, when I killed the first woman, he had been enthusiastic for me. Proud of me. Definitely only excited because it was for me, to get back my revenge and my honor. I was disappointed to see the differences that had come about. Like the shimmer in his eyes which had faded away. Like his all consuming fear of Odin finding out about our plans if he happened to think about that at night.

And, most of all, his excitement. For us, as he said. For our kingdom.

Deep inside, I knew Balder was still the same idiotic man as he had been before, but I was losing the side of his aliveness that I had loved so much; his innocence, purity, brightness. As the days passed by, weeks, minutes, heartbeats... Balder was fading away and a monster was coming in his place.

I feared that monster with everything that I still had. Yes, of course, I trusted Balder, but he was losing his sanity, just like I was. That my spirit and my mind had been consumed by the spirit of darkness was no more than a terrible tragedy. However, watching Balder rot and become the villain of anybody's story was just sickening.

"You'll be my queen, and I'll be your king," he said. I looked away in silence. "Those will just be our names, of course." No reaction. "Obviously."

"How many soldiers do we already have?" he added, sounding slightly disappointed of my reaction, though he had tried to mask that.

"Quite a few." The pencil scratched over the paper, creating an oval shape on the soft white of the page. On a line in the middle of the oval, I set the shape of two squinting eyes, pitch-black and smiling. As I traced my nose down the page, I looked up at the boy sitting across of me in silence.

His hands were folded and his finger tapped on his knee. As his eyes stared off into the distance, they lost focus and didn't notice the way I watched him; with sorrow and spite. On his face his consideration was marked with words in his eyes, on his lips, and in his speech. But what was he considering?

My question was answered quickly. "We need more help. Just soldiers won't be enough. The dead can drive a man insane, throw lifeless objects at him, or make himself the bullet of a non-existent gun. What makes you think you can win this war, Hel?"

"Trust in my army." My lips formed a smile on the paper. One without emotion, to replicate the real one. "I will win because of who I am and was always meant to be. A queen and a warrior, Balder. Nobody can stand in the path of faith and fate. Only Urd can decide the outcome of a battle this intense, and I can feel in my beating heart- as it counts down the moments- who she has chosen as victor."

"What if your intuition is wrong, Hel? This is a dangerous game to play."

"We have Loki."

"We need more allies. Ones who can promise us fire and death, which will roam through Asgard. We need destruction to win a war, not tactics," Balder spoke with a harsh tone in his voice. A frown on his forehead, he raised his shaking hand to brush some of his thick, blond hair away from it.

My lips formed a smile on my face. One without emotion, to replicate the one on the paper.