The Hel Experience

-Ragnarok- the Palace-

Though it had been very difficult, I managed to drag myself through the palace doors and seal them behind Balder and I. We walked, or better said- ran, through the halls in silence. It's bright, beautiful colors passed me by, as we hurried into the throne room and bolted the door.

It was large and practically empty. The floor as silver, the pillars red, and the ceiling light blue, like the sky. The throne, standing against the far wall, under a large, not-glass window, was that same color; one representing piece, though all the decisions I knew Odin had made there had nothing to do with that word.

"What now?!" Balder asked. "You're weak, and we don't even have an army!"

"I know, now shut up!" I spat. My hands formed trembling fists at my sides as I spun and spun in the search of something useful. "Crap! All I have is this sword!"

"Maybe it can do something useful?"

"If it did, why didn't Frigga do that?!" I hated yelling at Balder, but there was nothing left in my soul that was strong enough to stop me. I was leaking emotion, and my scared tears were the physical representation of it. "I... I don't know what to do..."

"We can hide."

"We can't hide forever! Obviously, they're going to check the palace first, which we can't leave, because the fire will swallow me if we do!"

"The fire!" Balder suddenly remembered. "We can just wait for it to kill off our enemies! Once it does its job, we should be fine!"

I looked over at him, biting down on my lip to keep myself from sobbing, and knew that we had no other choice than to sit, wait and see. There was a long, sad silence, in which we both excepted our defeat. Maybe I wasn't really as smart and unstoppable as I thought. I knew I'd made a mistake. I was just going to die with the rest of everything, wasn't I?

"When I die, at least I'll never lose you, right?" I asked, with a desperate smile on my wrecked face. My cheeks were covered with dirt and my hair was covered in snow. My lips had turned purple and blue, my teeth chattering. In all honesty, I was nowhere close to the beautiful, powerful queen I was expecting to be. "And, at least I've gotten some of my revenge."

Thinking such things barely helped, but it was enough to make me feel like I still had any of my honor.

Balder didn't react. He just followed me as I walked up to the throne slowly, carefully, as if it were to disappear at any second, once it recognized my face. It almost felt like it was going to vanish with the rest of my plans, because it stood there, so close and accessible, and seemed so certain to be.

The steps were difficult to get up, my legs feeling broken, frozen and tired. I practically collapsed on the throne, feeling the cold marble hit my exhausted body. From there, I sat and watched. Every cel of mine was full of fear, but I was still trying to accept my fate.

It was just so hard to dismiss everything I'd been through. All my experiences, they'd all die along with me, and if I gave in, only Hel version 2- the monster- would be known to man. Who I really was, the version I knew was still somewhere inside of me, would have never existed in the future of the nine realms.

When the fire came- and, oh, it did- I watched it devour houses and land through the windows. It's flames reached far into the sky, eating not only the ground, the people, the buildings and it's history and culture... It swallowed the heavens above, it's clouds, it's air... Until there was nothing left but ruins and death, it wouldn't stop.

Suddenly, there was a crash from inside the palace. The second door.

I was almost too afraid to look, but felt like I had no choice when Balder whispered; "Brother."

There, in the middle of the room, panting and covered in dirt and burns, stood Vithar. The only son of Odin still surviving, he looked at me with anger and fire in his eyes that I knew would be impossible to put out.

"How... How did you survive?" I asked, reaching over the arm rest of the throne to pick up my sword.

He stepped forward and I watched him with my nerves boiling. "I know perfectly well that the palace can't be destroyed. I was the only one left to know. My two best men are waiting in the halls. If we are the only survivors left, you can be sure you will regret destroying our realm."

Of course, I forced a smile on my face. It was a habit I'd developed, to hide my fear and anger and make myself seem strong and invincible. "Well, then it seems I'll have to make sure you aren't a survivor."

"You killed my family. I will not go easy on you."

"I'm afraid." I was speaking the truth, but he didn't know. Instead of hearing my fear, all he heard was the voice of the woman I pretended to be, and anger lit up in his eyes. He ran my way, raising the sword.

I got up and held mine. It shook in my hands- I had no idea how to use it- but I felt a lot safer with one. When he had reached the throne and was about to chop my head off of my body, I blocked and- after a few seconds of agonizing nothing- set more power until his sword slipped off mine and the blade shot towards his shoulder.

As he tripped backwards, I got up and ran. My skirt danced in the air behind me as I fled towards nothing, towards that nowhere where I knew exactly where to hide.

He was catching up. That time, I just took a sharp right turn and used a pillar to stand between us. His quick hand just moved around it and tugged at the fabric of my shirt, about to hit it with his sword again, but I managed to be quicker than him; slamming the bottom of the handle against his wrist.

He reacted quickly. Stepping forward, he aimed for my heart, but hit my arm. The top of the blade hit my bone, and I screamed, and screamed, until my throat hurt. A sharp, powerful pain spread through all of my body, but the adrenaline kept me going.

I pulled the sword back and tried hitting his stomach, but he grabbed my sword by the handle and pulled it out of my hands, directing the blade to the side so it didn't hit him. I gasped- yes, a useful reaction- and took a few steps backwards.

I heard Balder run over for the sword, but Vithar kicked it away, so Balder couldn't reach it before Vithar already had my pushed up against the wall; his arm against my collarbone and the blade of his sword against my neck. I was gasping for air and about to cry, just staring back at him with no words to say.

"Come!" he yelled, without looking away from me, and- within no time- his warriors threw the doors open again. One stole the sword back from Balder, the other came over to stand next to Vithar. He had rope, with which he tied my wrists.

For a moment, I was that little girl again. I felt her tears. I felt her fear. And, above all, I didn't want to lose my family. Balder stood next to me, telling me it would all be okay, but there was nothing he could do to help, and we both knew that perfectly well.

They say, every villain is a hero in his (or her) own story. I wasn't. I knew perfectly well what jealousy and anger had driven me into: insanity. I'd become a monster, and by the time I realized that, it was too late.

Vithar never killed me. You may have noticed that. Once he noticed how much I cared for Balder, he decided he'd never let me be with him in the same form. That way, I wouldn't be alone- rotting in my own sick memories.

He tied me up on this boulder. It wasn't until later that Hoder came in and put the Midgard Serpent with me. He told me of the other survivors, those left in the realms untouched by the fire- a rumor I found hard to believe- and of the new Asgard I would never be allowed to see.

Now I live every day in torment. There is nothing left of the Hel I used to be. I realize that now. Though I love to hold onto the hope that Vithar would suddenly remember that little girl he saw in the palace every now and then when he was younger and feel sorry for her, even if he did, we both knew perfectly well that anger had killed her off, so many years ago.

What was left was an empty shell of a woman. All that remained was to be tormented every day with the pain of the serpent's venom and Balder's distance, my sick memories, and eternity.

Oh, and my words. Because, hopefully, one of you will read this and be able to find me. What, you thought this story ended up in your hands by coincidence? Come find me, dear, and I will promise you the throne of the future Asgard.