one month before

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Exactly one month before the call, Mom stopped eating. I told myself this wouldn't have happened if I had been there. I ended up telling Ben this and he didn't react well.

My roommate, Trinity, put her face in her hands when I filled her in.

"Oh, Nessa," she said into her fingers.

Stop being such a baby, I texted Ben. You know I'm right. I shouldn't have left.

You can actually go fuck yourself, Ben responded.

"You really should apologize, Ness," Trinity said. Her blue eyes were wide and sad. "I've heard you talk about your brother. You love him so much, man, so fucking much, but you're not really showing him that. And you know he needs to know, especially in shitty times like these."

I knew she was right. My insides were twisting up in knots. But I also knew that I could've done a better job. And that's all that seemed to matter.

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