Stand Out, Fit In

4

To talk more in depth of what goes on in my life and most teen lives is this, "No one understands me." There are plenty of people who do understand and maybe not completely. Adults really don't know what goes on as they aren't a teen anymore.

Adults think differently than we do and it's us that don't understand them, they work...maybe all day. Teens seem to push away feelings of those people older because they can't understand.

Praise from adults does mean a lot, but when its around your age range. It feels even better. My art for instance is always praised by my grandmother and teachers, I entered a drawing of Seam from Deltarune for a fan art contest but my teacher didn't submit it in time as she was supposed to. The party they held for the contest had the table filled with art and I felt so downgraded because I had this strong confidence of winning, seeing that my art wasn't there crushed me completely. I walked out the party and had called my mom because I was that upset.

I remember telling her that I completely gave up because it was just so much to handle. But she reassured me that I would've won anyway and that I tried, she is helpful really...but at moments she's not.

My mother is barely 39(or 40) with 5 kids different fathers. The oldest 19 and the youngest being 2, im 16. She's been through a lot of love issues, no one has treated her with enough respect and that's what I respect about her, she raised 4 kids at the time and had no man help her out. Right now she's in a relationship with my stepdad and I disapprove of it deeply.

I don't hate him and I don't like him, Im just not used to him taking the role of my "father" (my father is in Mexico now and i never met him ever since i was a baby) and I just want to repair the relationship. I want to know why he hates me, I want to know what's causing this, or if something similar happened. I don't want to keep living in such a dysfunctional relationship with my stepfather. This isn't what I would want.

One deep wish I would like is that he was nicer to us, treats the family like he was there our whole time. I was the first to trust him because i thought it was the moment I had a father.

But things aren't things as you pictured.

Your world will fall into pieces...

Things will fall...

Your emotions will crash...

Your world is gone. Everything you touch turns to dust.

How many times have you rebuilt it?

Is there anybody there to save you? Is there anybody there to love you as you are? Who understands?