Only if ?

Last year

Wednesday 9th January

I'm walking to class with my squad it's was breaktime but the bell just rang which means it's lesson time ,we're walking and the subject of crushes comes up -
Jessica : how's Hayden
Lola : ugh he's hotter than ever but he's soo ugh what the word ,big headed popularity got to his head
Me : I don't know why you always have crushes on the most dumb asses of this school Lola it's not good
Kelsey: my crush is nice but also a savage how does that work
I don't say anything,but here's the  back ground story , first I had a crush on Levi but I kept it to myself I didn't tell anyone until I was sure of my feelings then I told my bestest friend Lola over FaceTime .I told her not to tell anyone because back then our squad was on a rocky boat and I didn't know who to trust. But then after two months Jessica tell us that she has a crush on him I don't react I'm like ohh its probably one her crushes again .Well it's usual for Jessica to move on fast. I asked her if she was sure and she was like" yeah I am and I want to take this crush slowly " I glance at Lola she knows I have to tell them but I still decided not to but then a hero came , this guy from another class asks out Jessica on a date then she loses all feels towards Levi and starts dating that guy they date for a solid 5 months but during that Kelsey develops feeling towards Levi bare in mind Lola only knows and once Kelsey has a crush it carries on for a long time ,well for me it's literally years by the way this all happened last year and now Kelsey likes to the same guy I do and she doesn't know but if I tell her now she probably hate me and by each day my feelings get bigger and bigger towards Levi I want to tell Kelsey but I don't want to risk our friendship, Levi hasn't had a girl friend yet. I want to be the first. ONLY IF I HAD TOLD them before anyone else had developed feelings towards him it my fault for not trusting them at that time ...