It was a beautiful camera. My dearest possession, as I had gotten it from my sister. I had already made myself a darkroom, where I could develop the pictures. But first, I had to take some. I hold it in my hand. I tried to imagine how she would have held it. I tried to trace my finger elegantly around the shape of the camera, as I saw her do sometimes, when she held something in her hand.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, why can't I by the perfect of them all?
My dark hair felt boring compared to her blond, and my green eyes just reminded me of how much they didn't remind of my mothers. Her eyes had been blue, like my sisters. Even though I had never seen my mother; I always imagined her eyes in a brilliant sky-blue like my sisters. Practically I just imagined her as an older version of my sister.
I chose to set my hair in a ponytail, like my sister usually does, and straightened out my cloth. It was similar to what she usually wore. I glanced in the mirror again. It was as if it was mocking me, pointing out how much I didn't look like her.
I took a look on my room. I could see that is needed improvement, I always noticed. I had picked the room and furniture myself, but that was before I realized her perfection. The dark wood may have been what I liked, but it wasn't like her room. It wasn't perfect.
I grabbed the camera from the simple desk, and then walked away from my room with disgust.
In the hallway, I glanced out of the window. And sure enough, as I had expected, he stood with her. I quickly took the camera. Click, click, and click. And in three pictures I had (hopefully) captured how she swung her hair. She now made a ponytail, and I touched mine, just to check that my run from my room upstairs hadn't ruined a thing. Gladly over feeling that my hair still was as it should, I turned attention to her again. He was following her every move, eating her with his eyes. She really liked him. And as she was perfection, everything she did was perfect.
And as I wanted to be perfect, because who didn't, I liked him too.
I coloured my lips with a lipstick I always kept in my jacket, like she did. It was almost the same shade, except I couldn't afford exactly the same. I was deeply ashamed of not having the right thing. I knew that it was the details, which where most important. Insecurity stroke me, and I had to calm myself down.
No need to be insecure. She's not insecure, and as you practically are her, you don't need to either.
It was just a lipstick, it doesn't matter.
I nodded to myself. Of course, it was stupid of me. I was flawless. No need to panic.
I stepped out of the front door, and chose to go around the house, to end in the garden. The sun shined brightly, something very unusual here.
I was just walking around the house, as something caught my eye. An earring.
It was little, and only a stone, looking like a piece of emerald. The green colour reflected in the sun, and it was stunning. It was perfect. And even better: It was my sisters.
I took it up, smiling with glee. I let the small earring slide into my pocket.
I was 3 meters away from her, as my sister heard me and turned around. She looked at me with real excitement, then back to the boy.
I got closer, and tried to walk majestically, yet casual, like her.
She smiled.
"This is my younger sister, Lilith."
I send him a brilliant smile. Lucky for me, I was pretty tall, so I didn't feel too small, even though I probably was two years younger than him.
He smiled back, and I looked down. I made sure to make everything look as if it was casual, even though I had planned every step ahead. Practised every smile, and watched endless times how my sister made the exact same thing.
"And Lills, this is Jamyl. Our... gardener"
She blinked, as if he was so much more than a gardener. And he was.
I looked up from the ground and gave him another smile, this time the shy one.
Practice does make perfect. I knew I would use the steps of 'how to have a conversation with a boy' one day.
Then he turned his focus to her.
"It was nice to meet you... Kamilah."
He gave her a jokingly smile, and she hold back a giggle. Clearly they had some sort of inside-joke going on.
I just stood there, and felt misplaced.
"But, we just moved and I still need to help you know, getting things out of boxes and such."
My sister beamed at him and nodded.
"Of course."
He nodded to me, and walked away.
As soon as he was out of reach, so he couldn't hear us, my sister looked overly excited. How she managed to look excited without looking crazy or fake, I didn't get. But she managed it.
I looked at the grass where Jamyl had stood just a moment before.
"Oops seems like he has forgot his watch."
And just as we noticed it, Jamyl came running back.
I walked away, and could her them grinning and laughing behind me.
"Your sister’s kinda strange, isn't she?"
Jamyls voice was only distant, but I heard the words loud and clearly. Like sharp knifes they hit me. Strange. Kamilah wasn't strange. Strange wasn't perfect.
"You just have to get to know her better..."
Of course. Her voice was sweet and forgiving. I looked down, and found a thin thread, probably from a shirt. I took it up and studied it in the sunlight. Must also have been from my sister. I put it in my pocket, with the emerald earring. Then I ran into the house. Back to my imperfect room, until it got night again, and I could go on my nightly mission, to see perfection.
