pirate king (pirate!au) ➵ ateez ✔️

forgiven

You've learned that Hongjoong's determination knows no bounds.

Because a week after that terrible little fiasco, he and Yeosang have gotten straight into planning how to slip into Nassau once again.

"Are you serious?" You had asked them, leaning over the map that they're studying as you brought their dinner to them, Seonghwa's masterpiece, beef stew. Hongjoong takes the bowl from you gratefully and starts to shovel the food down his throat, never once looking away from his map.

It's a map of Nassau Island, with several navigational notes to it that you don't understand, talking about tides, depth of the ocean and what not. Yeosang is pointing out a patch of map off the eastern coast of Nassau that is painted a darker blue than the rest.

"We could drop anchor here." Yeosang says, gesturing to it. "And have two people take a rowboat out to the beach that Chin Hae and Wooyoung swam to the last time. They could retrace their steps from there."

Captain nods as he studies the map intently, but his brow is furrowed. "I worry about the tide, though. It should be coming in, but anything could change."

Yeosang shrugs, taking his meal from you with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Chin Hae. We can't really do anything about the tide, since nature itself controls it as it will, but that's a risk Seonghwa will have to take."

Hongjoong nods once. "It's final. This is what we're going to do.." The navigator gets up, rolling the maps and tidal charts up, before giving you a quick smile. "I'll go over the plan with Seonghwa, then. See you, Chin Hae!"

His fingers grasp yours as he leaves. Ever since the two of you had brushed death hand in hand, you find his fingers have instinctively begun seeking yours. It's cute, the two of you are almost like twins now, two people cut from the same cloth.

The door swings shut behind you, and then you and Captain are the only two people left in the cabin since the time the crew discovered you are a woman.

Your captain looks at you for a moment as he unconsciously flexes the fingers of his right hand, the one he had crushed after San had told him of Yeosang's condition.

It occurs to you that since waking up, you haven't apologised to him yet.

You muster up all the courage you have in you, bowing before your captain deeply.

"I'm sorry, captain."

Hongjoong must know what you're apologising about, because his face stiffens a little. Then it relaxes, ever so slightly as he reclines in his chair, San having healed the damage done to his back during the week you were unconscious.

He opens his mouth to speak.

"I don't accept your apology."

Your heart stops in your chest. He doesn't... accept your apology? You lift your head just a little to stare at him, and he gazes back it you, green eye firm and unyielding. When he speaks again, his voice is gentle, a little sad, a little hurt.

"I need to know why you lied to me, lied to all of us. I could have understood if you'd told us you were hiding the truth from us because you were afraid that we would leave you behind if we found out about your identity, but after you became part of our crew, there is no excuse, Chin Hae."

All sorts of emotions swirl in you, the most prominent one guilt. You've hurt your captain, lied to the crew, and now you need to give them an explanation, except that you have none that makes sense.

"I..." You begin hesitantly, fingers fiddling with the hairpin at your belt. Its touch is cool and comforting, even if the man who gave it to you hasn't said a word to you since you woke up. "I was afraid at first. Afraid that if you found out who I was, you'd leave me behind. But as I started to grow closer to all of you..."