A Girl, a Murder, and Twelve Dreadful Children

Chapter X: A Bloody Nuisance

Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?" -- P. G. Wodehouse, Mike and Psmith

It took over an hour for Dani to reach something approaching calmness. Claire did not help. She was full of helpful suggestions of how to repair the damage to the utility room. Each of her suggestions, if they were put into practice, would make the damage much worse. The children wisely stayed out of the kitchen, but it was impossible for all of them to be in one room without making noise. A lot of noise.

"Snap!" someone yelled at the top of their lungs. "I win!"

There was immediately an angry outburst from at least six different people, clearly audible even though they were several rooms away. Dani closed her eyes and prayed for patience. She had quite enough to do as it was without having to intervene in a fight.

I'll have to move the mashing machine out to the garage, she thought as she sipped her fourth cup of tea and tuned out Claire's steady stream of chatter. Then I'll see what can be rescued from the laundry. The children can help me scrub the smoke stains for the walls. I hope the fire didn't damage the floor or the walls.

The world seemed much more bearable now she had a plan to deal with the situation. But first, she had to deal with its cause.

"Claire," Dani said, putting down her teacup, "what do you plan on doing?"

The vampire looked blank. "What do you mean?"

"How long do you intend to stay here?" Not long, I hope, Dani added to herself. The house won't survive if you do. "Have you got friends or family you can go and stay with?"

Claire propped her elbows on the table and bit her lip, apparently forgetting about her fangs. Dani winced. That had to be painful. "No, I don't."

Oh, for goodness's sake...

"What about your parents?"

"They're dead," Claire said, far too cheerfully.

"Siblings?"

"Don't have any."

Dani felt an unpleasant sinking sensation in her stomach. "How did you become a vampire? Did another one turn you?"

"Oh yes! But I don't know who." Claire didn't look at all upset by this fact. "Some bastard stabbed me two years ago, and while I was bleeding a vampire came along and offered to turn me into one. So I accepted."

Just when she thought things couldn't get any stranger... "And you don't know who this vampire was?"

Claire shook her head. "No idea."

Dani facepalmed. How on earth was it possible to not know something so important?

~~~~

That day seemed endless. But finally, finally it drew to a close. The utility room was still a mess, a faint smell of smoke still lingered around the place, and the washing machine was conspicuous by its absence. But the smoke stains on the walls had been scrubbed away, and the burnt clothes disposed of, and Dani was reasonably sure she could afford a new washing machine.

It would mean dramatically cutting down on how much they all spent for a month or two, but it was possible.

The only blot on the horizon was the person responsible for this mess.

Dani felt rather like a character in a comedy, who was dragged into one disaster after another for the amusement of the audience. Only trouble was, the audience didn't care what the character thought or felt about this. It didn't matter to them that the character found these disasters much less amusing than they did.