Things I wish I knew before turning 18.

P A R T (III)

1.
~ Is it me or my world?

Now I understand when they say that the people will hate the very qualities they loved about you. You will wonder what has it change , was it them..or you? , you will question the value of words and actions after seeing how conditionnal emotions can be. Your first move will be to blame yourself, because your care about this person will not allow you to blame them..it's rare that people will admit to hurting you , instead they will often frame you as being wrong or convincing yourself that you're toxic in order to have their own guilt..if you have been kind to them , they will have no option but to turn you better qualities against you, your passion will be 'overwelming' , your kindness will be 'naivite' and your love will be 'too much'.
But in regard to emotion, you cannot love too much, you can only love the wrong person..the more you're in tune with your emotions, the more human you will be.
We weren't given feelings to hide them away, we were made to feel..it's how we interact with everything around us, it's how we remind ourselves that we're alive. So I resent the idea of being 'too sensitive' , because in a world growing colder, people will try to rob you of your warmth..but we need people who embrace their own feelings and recognize the weight of them so we can begin to see the validity in the feelings of others.
I resent the idea that I needed to change to harden myself in order to survive in this world..maybe the world is what needs changing.
We try to convince ourselves that our minds set precedence over the things we feel as if we can turn off our emotions fonction off logic alone, we will always loose, because we're not machines but human beings.