Jimin POV
Humming softly as I finally calm down, I struggle to keep conscious as I stay curled up with Kookie. I know I need to go back to my room still, knowing better than to think he'd be okay with me staying in his bed overnight.
"You okay, Jiminie?" Jungkook asks softly, still gently running his fingers through my hair. I merely hum in approval as a response, much too exhausted to be bothered with speaking right now.
"Baby, we need to talk." He whispers softly, leaning up and kissing the top of my head. I whimper in return, much too tired at the moment for any of this.
"Tomorrow, please?" I request quietly, giving up on fighting my eyes to stay open for the time being.
"Jiminie, I'm really worried about you. I wanna know what's going on so that I can help you." Jungkook tells me in a gentle tone, clearly seeming distressed by something. I groan, rolling over within his grip so that I'm faced away from him with his front pressed up against my back.
"I already told you about why I'm scared, Jungkookie-ah. What more do you want?" I whine, lips forming a pout at the end. I turn my head up to look at him, not bothering to open my eyes though, as I'm still too tired for that. He chuckles softly, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. I hum quietly against his lips, much too tired to be upset about him kissing me in what's most likely just an attempt to convince me.
Our lips together in sync, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips gently moving against my own. Though, in only a partial state of full awareness and consciousness, I slowly turn my body back up so that it's facing his ceiling as I reach up to cup his cheek with my hand. Running my tongue across his bottom lip, I feel him chuckle a bit as he parts his lips for me. Far too out of it, I slowly begin to get turned on by all of it, my sense of touch and hearing heightened as I slip my tongue past his lips to roam his mouth.
Running my hand from his cheek, down his jawline and to his neck, I feel him shiver underneath my touch. I smirk at this, lightly trailing my fingers from his neck down his shoulder and down his arm. Reaching his hip, I give it a light squeeze before slipping my hand underneath his now untucked suit shirt. He gasps in the kiss from the feeling of my hand hitting his bare skin before I run it over his extremely toned stomach, gently pushing him back onto his back.
Heating the kiss up even more, I carefully and slowly make my way to crawl on top of him so that I'm straddling his waist. Enjoying my little perch above him and the effects that I know I have on him, I slowly begin to grind my hips and crotch down on his own. Almost instantly, his hips buck up against me, encouraging me to continue. However, this sadly only lasts for another thirty seconds or so, before he pulls away. Resting his hands on my hips, he holds me in place in order to keep my from continuing to grind down on him.
My swollen lips part in response to this, feeling myself wake up a bit more and realize all that's going on. That he's keeping me from continuing because it's not what he wants. Be cause he doesn't want it at all. Because he doesn't want me.
Feeling the realization hit me like a fucking semi truck, I quickly drag myself off of him and off the bed altogether. Not bothering to look back at him, I rush out of his bedroom and into mine, slamming the door shut behind me. Almost in an instant, the tears begin falling in buckets as I walk over to the bedside table. Picking up the bottle of Valium, I knock a whole palmful into my hand before setting it back down. Quickly grabbing the open bottle of whiskey, I knock all of the pills back with the hard alcohol before slamming that down on the table.
Whimpering loudly as the self hate sets in, I shake my head to myself as I make my way over to the bathroom. Going inside, I close the door behind me and lock it before flipping the shower on. Heating the water up as hot as I can possibly stand it, I quickly undress from the damned stupid fucking suit. Frustratingly removing the articles of clothing, I throw each one against the door as hard as I can before stepping inside the shower. I gasp at the temperature of how hot it is before sitting down and just crying all over again like the fucking baby I am.
I'm fucking dumb, a goddamn idiot. I can't believe I'm stuck here and that I'm actually... that I'm actually falling for him...
Realizing this as well, I sob even louder, pissed at myself for letting such a thing happen. I've not even been here that long, I'm way below him anyways. He would never fall for me, there's no surprise that he didn't and doesn't want me. There's no way he ever could.
I mean, honestly. Who falls for some crybaby who can hardly take care of him damn self? Who would fall for someone as weak as I am? Someone who's nothing more than a failure and disappointment to everyone at everything? Who the hell could possibly fall for me, when I can't even begin to fucking stand myself?
No one. That's who.
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The Other Side | Jikook
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