Chapter 8. I will not give up, Clara! Elm.

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I lost it, lost... meaning? Reason? No. I lost control, of the situation and just generally... I mean, I was never in control of anything before either, just... almost something. But, back then I had some knowledge of this almost something but now I don't understand a single bloody thing. This is a complete fiasco that is deplorable to the very depths of my nonexistent soul.

I'm not drunk, but an overdose is present. I'm just simply sated, I compressed the energy into myself until it became a material manifestation. I just sit there and glow like a damn ghost even though it's already dawn and I am no longer visible. Not like there is anyone to see me anyway, Ha! Nobody to see how I'm curled up on the graveyard's edge like a beaten dog at the end of my chain, waiting for it to finally strangle me. That wretch, how is she able to do this? Harlot, complete bitch!

I'm not cursing at the chain, obviously. She's a familiar presence for me.

I'm gonna start howling!

How pitiful I've become. Tonight, too... how I have waited, dashing around the perimeter, completely desperate. So desperate that I was ready to sing an anthem for my maiden when she would arrive! I would be ecstatic to kiss her bare, scraped feet, seriously!

Emotions are a scary thing.

The problem is that my girl became very sick, the poor thing got poisoned. It's my fault, but what can you do... I sprayed too much of the paralysing substance at first, not considering that the girl is young and untainted in which case it gets recognised as a strong poison. She'll get used to it eventually, life without it is not kind. I should have given her at least five days to rest, but there was no time for that, not for me and not for her. So that's that.

My girly came and collapsed in a bout of fever like a broken marionette. The entirety of her small, touching castle was turned to ash and the spindle almost stopped reacting to my dancing. I already barely managed to uncoil it, working my ass off the whole night. The energy output can't even be compared to the first winding, but I am glad to have at least that. I let my maiden go in the morning, chasing her onto the road before beginning the process of preservation. This time I raised the cocoon's thickness by ten layers. And then I waited.

My patience soon paid off as I saw the leak begin as a very thin thread that protruded from the cocoon. I was prepared for anything, but the sight of the already low energy being absorbed into the decrepit bones laying next to me made me go mad with rage. No matter how hard I tried to reinforce the cocoon, new faults kept on appearing until the point when I desperately poured the contents into myself, bolting as far away as possible. Looks like that worked for now but I feel like I'm walking on thin ice. What if I erupt? I'm drunk; pardon me, sated and thus I can't control the situation well.

Oh, I forgot. I don't control it at all. My life is being drained away by a corpse. Why are you doing this to me, Clara? Even after death is your vengeful heart not at rest?

'We will belong together even after death as we are connected by the red string of fate that cannot be severed nor forgotten.' I remember how you used to philosophise on this topic until it became nothing more than a persistent idea. How was I supposed to know that the burning desire, which never subsided for a single moment, one day would gift you this power of a witch that led my mind to become so blurred as to reveal my real name to you?

Clara, you were given complete control over me. Bound me to an invisible chain with the length of one hundred of your steps. You needed a slave and you have managed to perfectly achieve your goal.

The chain sapped my strength. It made me powerless, took away my freedom, conquered me, commanded me and dragged to your feet. And after only a couple of days, when the religious mourners finally gave you upon the constellations' claws, I was able to isolate and hide, hoping for the best. Oh, how I waited... trembling, hoping to never have to hear your screech and see your hideousness again.

When clumps of dirt fell onto the coffin with your disfigured body, I was so violently happy, my dear! Did you know that? Definitely, you vixen... you knew, probably giggling like a maniac when you looked upon my contorted face as I realised that I still could not move further than a hundred steps from your corpse.

One hundred of your steps, Clara.

Are you really never going to release me? Bored in your dead kingdom, you drag yourself toward the accidental slave, me?

But how can you even do that? How do I stop this curse, or at least lessen it... I don't know. I can't contain the energy Inside the grave, while the chain eats away at it when I wander off. For now, I'll try to obtain an optimal balance with minimal loss, and then I'll think forward.

I will not give up, Clara!

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