My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter Eleven

Fergie's Point of View

Around the time the bonfire starts, my mood hasn't lightened at all. My emotions are all over the place right now. If I had known liking Tatianna came with so many emotions, then I would have dodged that bullet a long time ago. It's not my fault I ended up falling for her. I don't know who to blame. The universe has a funny way of making people fall in love. I have spent so much time with her that I know her like a book.

The only thing that is bothering me is that I can't tell if what Tamara said is true or not. I couldn't read all the emotions written over Tatianna's face and it bothers me so much. I should know if it's true or if it's false. Or maybe it's tearing me apart because I'm afraid she won't like me in the same way that I like her. Or maybe it's the fact that Ethan kissed my girl on the lips and she kissed him back.

Tatianna can do so much better than Ethan. She has told me that Ethan has been through a lot, but that doesn't justify his actions to be a complete douchebag sometimes. He's the type of person who thinks everyone owes him something just because he has had a hard life.  I know for a fact that I don't owe Ethan anything, yet he still doesn't like me. After seeing him kiss Tatianna the way that he did, I know why he doesn't like me.

He doesn't like the way she acts around me. He doesn't like how she lets her guard down around me. The way her face lights up when we have a simple conversation about nothing important at all. He hates the fact that she looks for me in a room instead of him. He hates me because she enjoys my company more. Misery loves company, and tonight its company happens to be Ethan.

Tatianna isn't making this much easier on us either. She could have pushed him away, but she kissed him back. That leaves millions of assumptions to run through my mind. Does she like him back? It's vividly clear that Ethan takes a liking to her. Was everything Tamara said a lie? Sometimes it feels like Tatianna is flirting with me, but it could be playful banter. I honestly don't know what to think right now. I just know that I can't be around her or him, or I might lose my shit.

"I'll be back." I say to no one in particular, standing up and walking to go inside the house.

I walk into the kitchen and take a seat at the island, which means my back faces the entry way into the kitchen. When I hear footsteps ascending, my heart jumps a little—I guess in hopes that it's Tatianna coming to comfort me. I always come to her rescue to comfort her. No matter what she's feeling right now, I'd like to think that she'd be there for me too. That's just how we work. Or at least that's how we used to work. I'm not really sure what's going on anymore.

"You like her, don't you?"

It's Dev.

Out of all people, it's Dev. I don't know how to tell him that I like his little sister, who is basically like a sister to me—according to their family. I feel like I have been lying to my best friend the whole time. Every time I came over his house, of course it was to hang out with him, but it was to catch a glimpse of Tatianna too. That night we won our first home game, I looked out into the crowd to make sure she was there. I played my best because I had my lucky charm watching me.

"I don't wanna say the wrong thing here." I sigh, placing my head into my hands.

"I mean, the look on your face when you saw her and Ethan kissing kinda gave it away." He says, sitting down on the stool next to me.

"Was it?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yeah, it was." He sorrily nods his head. "And you just answered my question."

"I'm already feeling shitty." I shrug. "Might as well make matters worse."

"I guess I could always tell." He adds. "That you liked her. I just didn't wanna believe it. Nothing good can come out of this."

"I know, Dev." I sigh. "That's why I never said anything."

"Oh." He nods his head.

"Does she at least like me back?" I ask.

Devin doesn't say anything. Instead, he stares at the counter and pretends to ignore me. I know he heard my question; he just doesn't want to answer it. He doesn't have to answer me to give me an answer. His silence says enough. I guess it's time for me to stop pining after someone who will never like me back. It's not healthy to want someone in such a way, and they don't feel the same. It is very toxic.

"You gone be okay, bro?" Dev claps a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I clear my throat, nodding my head.

He walks out of the kitchen and back to the bonfire, I reckon. I have to go back out there, or else he's going to think this whole situation fazes me. I don't even want to look at Ethan's face; I might punch him in the face or something. As far as facing Tatianna, I don't know what I'm going to do. How do I get over such a beautiful soul?

Devin's Point of View

I can never tell him the way that Tatianna looks at him when he's not looking.

I can tell when my little sister is in love.

I'd never tell him that, though.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Tatianna's Point of View

Fergie comes back outside not too long after Devin comes back. I'm so glad we go back home tomorrow; I don't want to be here anymore. I wish we had never played that stupid game because it made everything awkward. Fergie won't even look at me. I just want to know what's going through his mind right now. My anxiety is at its highest; I hate worrying over things that I know I have know control over.

"Tati, I'm sorry." Tamara says, touching my arm.

"Look, I say stuff I don't mean when I'm mad. Please just leave me alone right now." I say in a tone that tells her I'm not a force to be reckon with.

Tamara needs to learn how to control her liquor. I can't tell you how many times she has gotten drunk and doesn't remember what happened the day prior. I love my friend dearly, I really do, but there is a time and a place for losing your shit. She just doesn't know when to stop. I wonder if she is ever going to get over this partying phase. It's so annoying. Maybe I'm throwing shots because my anger is all over the place, but it's nothing but the truth.

Ethan hasn't said much to me. To be honest, I don't know what to tell him. We're definitely going to have to talk about what happened. I kissed him back, for crying out loud. Clearly, I don't know what to say to him either. This whole night has been a complete disaster and I think I'm ready to turn in.

"I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm tired." I stand up.

I don't even bother changing into pajamas; I just go to sleep. My thoughts don't run wild when I'm sleep.