My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter Twelve

Ethan and Tamara are in the backseat knocked out. They both have their earphones in; I guess they got tired of the awkward silence. I wonder how they think I feel. I'm the one in the passenger seat, right next to Fergie. We have only been on the road for an hour, yet it feels like an eternity. The only sounds that can be heard is the low humming of the radio and the car tires hitting the road. I should put in my earphones, however, part of me hopes that Fergie will initiate a conversation. I just want things to be normal again.

As if my prayers are answered, Fergie turns down the radio and clears his throat. He's going to say something—finally. I could have said something first, but there is absolutely nothing I can say to make this situation better. I need to see where his head is at first before I even think about sputtering one word out of my mouth. It's like I am destined to say embarrassing or irrelevant things.

"Think we should stop soon?" He asks.

"If you want to." I sigh.

"Can you call Dev and tell him?"

My heart sinks in my chest a little. Of course he doesn't want anything to do with me or our situation right now. I guess a little part of me thought that he was actually going to talk to me—and not to ask about stopping to take a break from driving. It has never really been this weird between the two of us. I wish this trip had never happened. I wish I could take that night back. Alas, what's done is done and I can't change the past. I can only control my future actions. I don't need to do or say anything else stupid from here on out. Knowing myself, it's going to happen anyway, though.

I call Dev and he agrees to stop at the McDonald's a few miles out. It'll be our first and last stop on the way home. Honestly, I just want to keep driving. The closer I get to my bed, the closer I get to sleeping my worries away. There's something about being in the comfort of my own bed and somehow my worries seem to slip my mind. That's the beautiful thing about sleeping; our thoughts leave us momentarily—at least the ones that worry us.

When we stop at McDonald's, I shake Tamara and Ethan awake. They are mad for a few seconds, but they eventually exit the car. I don't get out of the car because I'm not hungry nor do I have to use the restroom. Fergie hasn't moved an inch either. He's still sitting in the parked car with his seatbelt on and his hands on the steering wheel. He thinks I don't notice when he slightly turns his head my way, but I do. I can tell he wants to say something. He's doing that thing when he bites his bottom lip, staring ahead at nothing. That damn lip. He exhales a breath I didn't know he was holding, and unhooks his seatbelt.

"I, um," he scratches the back of his ear, "I honestly don't know what to say."

"That makes two of us." I sigh. At least I know I'm not alone; we're in the same boat.

"You're not gonna get anything?" He points to the fast food restaurant.

"Nah, I'm not really that hungry." I shake my head.

"You should eat something. You didn't eat anything this morning." He softly says.

How is it that he seems to notice things like that? Devin surely didn't worry about me eating breakfast this morning, so why does he have to? Sometimes I hate the fact that he's not a careless person. I think it'd be much easier being around him if he was a douchebag. That's not Fergie, though, and that's why I like him. He's such a selfless person who'd do anything to make someone happy. That's just the kind of person he is, and there aren't many people like that.

"Fergie, I'm good." I say.

"Alright, I'm just making sure." He shrugs his shoulders and he looks at me. I feel like it's for the first time.

The way his eyes seem to penetrate into my soul, makes my skin shiver. I feel the chill bumps arise on every part of my skin, under his alluring gaze. There's a powerful, thick tension in the air that either of us choose to acknowledge. My most deepest, darkest secret is slowly coming to light and I don't know if I can stop it from happening. He's going to find out the truth: I like him. It doesn't have to be today, though.

"You wanna talk about it?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Talk about what?" I'm not clueless, I know what he's talking about. I want to hear him say it.

"You know what, Tatianna." I'd be lying if I said the authority in his voice didn't turn me on.

"Fergie, it ain't nothing serious. Just leave it alone." I wave him off. "Everybody was basically drunk last night."

"So you just want me to forget about it?" He looks at me in that same way again.

"Yes." I sigh, resting my head against the seat.

"Okay, then." He says.

Those are the last words he speaks to me throughout the rest of the car ride home. I didn't expect him to ignore me completely, if that's what he's doing. Although, I'm almost positive that's what he's doing. I told him to the leave the topic alone, not to stop talking to me altogether. Now he's pissing me off. There's nothing I can do about it either. He's not mine, and I don't have to explain anything to him if I don't want to. I could confess my feelings to him, but what good would that do? Then, he'll realize that I've been lying this whole time about it. I'll pass on that one.

We make it home around dinner time, and all I want to do is dive face first onto my bed. I don't even say goodbye to Ethan and Tamara, as I make a run to my garage. I punch in the code and the garage opens up. It feels so good to be home.

I don't think Ethan and Tamara want to face me right now. Tamara told my business and Ethan shared some of his by kissing me. Like I said, this entire trip should have never happened. All of our dirty little secrets are out in the open. The only thing left for us to do is figure out how to deal with them.

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