An infinite amount of unfinished stories if you're feeling bored

Collision course

I stare at my phone, willing it to light up, waiting desperately and longing to hear that 'ding' that I've been expecting for almost a day now. I've turned my ringtone volume up to full so I know I won't miss it. But every time I get a notification, which is now deafening, it's not him.

Each time it 'dings' I feel a surge of excitement, followed by that very familiar falling feeling in my chest when it's some other guy. Or Jenny.

Jenny's probably the only person that I talk to that I wouldn't refer to as 'some guy', and I'm sure I don't need to explain what I mean by 'some guy'.

I know what that looks like. What's this girl doing? She's all hung up on this one boy but she's chatting up multiple other people? I'm not denying anything. There have been a lot of guys in my life this summer, none of them serious in any way. And Micah? He was just one of them.

But it's different now.

Something's been growing in me, something I've never experienced before. And it just got bigger and bigger, until it exploded. Micah sends me swimming in an ocean of emotion. He's been my first thought when I wake up, and my last thought before I sleep. And in my hours of waking, I still feel like I'm in some kind of dream. When he held my hand, it was the answer to the question I didn't know I was desperate to find. And when we kissed... well, it wasn't like it was that physically different than kissing any other guy. There weren't fireworks or fanfares, the world didn't implode. The thing that was different was the knowledge that he was mine. That he was all mine. And that felt... glorious.

"It's real with him," I tell Jenny as I scan a bottle of Sainsbury's own brand vodka into the self-service checkout.

She raises an eyebrow.

"I'm serious! Yesterday we hung out sober." I pack a bottle of own brand lemonade and a six pack of Strongbow. "We watched 'Friends' and cuddled... People don't do that if they're just in it for a cheeky fuck."

"YOU FUCKED HIM??" She broadcasts to the entire supermarket.

I whack her in the side, mostly playfully. "NO!" I retort, then falter. "I think at least... What would you say counts as fucking?"

As we walk over to the party at Micah's house and make a start on the ciders, she brings the topic up again.

"Are you sure he's serious about you too, though? Think about how many girls he's been with this summer alone mate."

It was true there had been a lot. Actually not technically a lot - only three or four - but he switched between them. Some parties he made out with one, some parties he made out with another, keeping them at arm's length in this way. I have no issue with his past, it's not like I haven't been with my fair share of guys, and I know that I'm different. He treats me different. I just know it, in the depth of my heart, that he feels the same way as me; that I'm the only one for him.

There's only one of the girls from his past that I find myself disliking. Danni. She makes my skin crawl. But I'm pretty sure that has more to do with the fact that she's two years younger than us, and seems to have an inability to wear a bra. Seriously, half of my friends now refer to her as 'nipple girl'.

"What about all the guys I've been with?" I reply. "We're both hoes, that's one of the biggest things we have in common."

She shakes her head, "That's not at all reassuring, Soph."

"Come on, you're just jealous because you haven't got anyone to watch 'Friends' and cuddle with."

She glares at me for a second, before grinning. "You evil bitch."

I raise my can to her, "You know it."

"What about Matt? He's way into you." I suggest as we turn in to walk up his driveway.

Her face contorted in mock disgust, "Ew. He's a narcissistic asshole."

"Good kisser though."

The atmosphere of the party is buzzing. I'm so glad we chose to arrive now, it's at the perfect time. We walk from room to room, insulting those we know as a form of hello, and complimenting those we don't as a form of self-introduction - common party etiquette. All the while I'm thinking to myself: where's Micah? Has he been waiting for me? Is he with Matt and Luke? Or in the kitchen?

Finally, When I run into Matt and Luke, I ask them where he might be. The two boys share a strange look.

"I think he's upstairs..." Matt says, slowly and cautiously, as if he's not sure if he's allowed to answer what is really a simple question.

I mean, that look should have told me everything I needed to know. Or maybe Jenny's wise caution should have. Or maybe just what I already knew about Micahs personality. And it's not like we ever explicitly talked about it; it's not like we 'defined the relationship'. How was he to know he couldn't stick his tongue down Danni "nipple girl" Wilson's throat? How was he to know that walking in on it would tear me in two?