Snapshots

Empty Glass

Dread knots my stomach as I sit balled up on the couch. The room is dark with the exception of the one lamp light that sits on the table closer to the door. The darkness feels oppressive, but I can't bring myself to turn on the light and bring my sins into sight. I glance at the clock. 11:28. James should be coming in any minute. With that thought still on my mind, headlights light up the front room window, and my stomach drops as I see the doorknob begin to turn a few minutes later.

James flicks on the lights as he walks in and sees me curled on the couch. Confusion causes his forehead to crumble. "Maxine, why are you still up? You should've been in bed hours ago."

I open my mouth to respond, but the words get caught in my throat. James swings the door shut and continues further in the room tossing his jacket on the recliner as I force the words out of my mouth.

"I cheated on you today."

He stops behind the recliner and his face goes completely blank. I knew I shouldn't have brought it up like this. and acted like it never happened. But it did happen, and I couldn't get what happened out of my mind. His eyes flickered to the stairway on his right.

"The kids are at my mother's house. I didn't want them to hear about this until we talked," I say, answering his unspoken question.

He is quiet as he walks past me and into the kitchen. I sigh and pick up my wine glass filled with orange juice off the table. As I take a sip, I find myself wishing it was something stronger, but I stop myself. I already broke one vow today, I wasn't about to break another one. James walks back into the room and sits in the recliner across from me, taking a sip of the glass of whiskey he made.

Setting his glass on the table, he steeples his and his brown eyes stare at me from behind his wide glasses. I hate this stare. This stare meant that he slipped into his role as a therapist.

"Define what you mean when you say you cheated."

I look down at my hands and realize that I had been nervously twisting my wedding ring around my finger. Staring at my hands, I respond. "I kissed another man. He wanted me to go home with him, but I knew I couldn't do that to you, to our relationship, or to our kids."

I can feel his eyes on me long after I finish speaking. Finally gathering the courage to glance up into his face, I see him nodding thoughtfully before he sits forward and finishes the rest of his whiskey in one swallow, grimacing as it goes down. He stands, rubs his hands over his shining baldhead, places his cup back on the table and begins to walk up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

He looks at me with one eyebrow raised. "I'm going to bed. I don't have the pleasure of staying up at all times of the night to talk." After saying his piece, he continues up the stairs.

I sigh, I grabbing mine and James glasses and bring them to the kitchen to wash. When I'm done, I curl back up on the couch and pull a throw blanket over me. I stare at the stairway hopefully until sleep pulls me under.

********************

I wake up at six the next day and shower quickly fixing my kinky hair into a pineapple hairstyle before heading to the kitchen to make us a breakfast of pancakes and bacon. I set the table and pour us both a glass of orange juice before sitting down to wait for him to come down. Time ticks by as I wait. Glancing at the clock, I see it's 7:30. I know I have to leave soon if I want to make it to work on time. After walking up the stairs and peaking my head into our bedroom, I realize James must have left while I was showering downstairs.

Pushing down irritation, I package up the food before hopping in my minivan to head to my law firm. My plan was to ask for the rest of the week off so that I could mend things with my husband. I wasn't working on any cases at the moment, and this would be the first time asking for time off in the past six years, so I knew I would be able to get it off.