Poems of the truth.

Falling Away

I couldn't get out of bed yesterday. I don't know what lead for me to become so goddamn depressed. I could feel tired, but I felt like inside I was on fire. With all these liars telling me what I don't want to hear, although I'm just as bad, so I don't have a reason to talk crap. I'm so tired of being laughed at and pushed around. I always find myself crying but I know I can't make a sound. It's Important to keep it down so my demons don't take, and drown me with suicidal thoughts in my sleep. They come up behind me and it's almost like they blindfold me, and tell me to "trust them" and I eventually end up being pushed off a cliff. When I hit the ground I'm in pain and all stiff. My blood flows out to show that I'm still human. I take beatings after beatings and sometimes I just feel like running away and leaving. It's like I'm grieving for someone who isn't there. Who's also scared me for so many years. She lives in my head, and tortures my soul. For her, she keeps telling me "It never gets old." It's like my life has been sold to this feeling of falling and falling until I hit the ground. I can't get back up and it hurts to talk. So I keep getting up every time, but I can never get away from this dangerous deep feeling and it's just all to real for me. If only you can see what is happening. I don't want all this to come after me, but here I am standing and about to fall once again, like she always said to me "It never gets old" as I put this handgun up to my head and say "Goodbye everyone, this is my last fall." The bullet goes through clean and no one had to see the horror of me dying. After lying on the ground that I kept landing on repeatedly.