Silence

Reminiscing and regretting

Elliot's POV

I've been laying in my bed for what seemed like forever but was probably only a little more than an hour. It's still kind of early in the day probably around 7 at night, though I haven't checked so I'm only guessing.

I keep replaying the scene from earlier, and dad still hasn't come home. Mom has been in their room since she came up.

And I feel- well I don't even know how I feel. But the one question that keeps replaying in my head is, why didn't I help her?

I could've defended her, have me been the one get hit. But I didn't, I stood still. Watching as if it was something completely normal, which is wasn't.

Sitting up, I shake my head as if the thoughts will automatically get out my head.

Anyways standing up, I make my way downstairs walking past my parents room. I couldn't hear anything though, it was quiet.

Making it to the kitchen, I go to the pantry and look for a small snack. Remind me to ask mom if we can go to the grocery store soon.

Grabbing some chips, I go to the fridge and grab two juice boxes. Then I go back up to my room, stopping at moms' door.

Quietly I open it and peak in, and there she is. Her semi long brown hair hovering over her shoulders. She's sitting at the edge of the bed staring into nothingness.

"Mom?" I say getting her attention, and she jumps in surprise turning around. "Oh hey honey, you scared me for a second" she laughs lightly, attempting to hide her wince. But I noticed.

Just looking at her you can see that she's been crying, her eyes were red a puffy with bags under them.

I feel bad, it should've been me.

"Elliot you alright?" She asks and I come back to reality. "Oh um yeah, just came to see if you were ok."

She smiles softly and pats the spot beside her, as if telling me to sit down, and I do.

Leaning my head on her shoulder, she lays hers on top of mine. "You don't have to worry about me Elliot, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself" she says, but it doesn't change the fact I'm still gonna worry. Even if it's silently.

"But I want to" I mutter, and I could feel her smile.

"You more important than me, so just try and take care of yourself. I don't want to see you get hurt." she says

"What about your job?" I ask silently, I know its a stupid question, but who knows what could happen while she's at work.

"I don't know, but let's not talk about that right now. Remember Mommy and Eli together forever" she spoke quietly i don't think she wanted to say it at all, or believe it. But she laughed lightly at the memory. I smiled thinking of it, I had wanted to play superheroes and dad didn't want to, so mom did. So as we were saving my toys from falling off my bed, or dresser, I shouted 'Mommy and Eli together forever'.

"I'll be fine," the one sentence I repeat, sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not, or sometimes it's both true and false.

Slowly lifting my head, she moves hers. "I think i'm gonna go back to my room" I say standing up, my chips and juice in my hands.

"Alright honey, goodnight." She smiles, and looking at her once again she looks stressed and tired with the bags under her eyes.

"Night." I smile back, walking out towards my room.

Plopping down onto my bed I set the chips and juices onto my nightstand. Getting out my phone, I click the YouTube icon.

I'm not normally on my phone, since i don't have anyone to talk to. But i have it, normally in my backpack, sometimes my pocket. I only go on it to play games or call mom.

I'm not on social media either, but even if i was i'm sure it'd just be the same as school. People calling me names, and judging me, telling me not to live.

Scanning through all the videos recommended to me, I finally find one that interests me. It was a plain gaming video.

I remember when I was younger, I'd go to my friends house and we'd play video games on his ps3. More specifically we'd play Minecraft, but things changed.

That's how I spent the rest of the night, watching YouTube, going from gaming, vlogs, and even reaction videos.

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Thank you SARAHGXOX for helping me decide on title for this chapter!

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