Bias Wrecked (18+) - BTS Edition

A Day with BTS Part 4 - Genius Lab

After the boys were finished practicing I decided to talk to Jimin. His behavior wasn't anything suspicious if you weren't paying attention but Namjoon had warned me. Hobi had gone to use the bathroom before the two were going to head back to the dorm. Jimin was sitting on the ground with his legs out straight in front of him, playing around on his phone. I walked over and sat down next to him

"Hey Jimin? I really hope you don't take this as prying but....are you okay?" I asked him. He looked up from his phone at me with a confused look.

"What do you mean, Noona?" he asked

"Well it's just....look Namjoon said something about your behavior being off. I know I've only known you guys for a day but I would hope if there was anything bothering you that you would tell me. I mean that is what I'm here for, isn't it?" I saw Jimin's head drop a little as I spoke. My guess is this isn't the first he has had this type of conversation with someone. I felt bad bringing it up.

"Let me guess, he asked you to keep an eye on me" His voice sounded so tired. My heart hurt hearing when he spoke

"Yeah.....Look I'm sorry. If I'm making you feel uncomfortable...." I was unsure how to talk to him at this point. I didn't want to offend him, but I wanted him to know how much everyone cared about him. A thought came to mind of a personal story from when I lived in Busan. I really didn't want to share it but at this point it was the best way to get the point across. I then swallowed my pride and spoke.

"So this is kind of personal but... Back when I lived in Busan, I took lessons at a private dance academy. It was a small academy, my class only consisted of about 10 student. Not everyone showed up and sometimes I was lucky enough to be the only one there. I loved those days cause it felt like I got private lessons, even though my family couldn't afford it. The instructor told me I was one of the better dancers in class. She was prepared to give me a center spot in an upcoming showcase."

Before I continued I had to take a breath. I hadn't told anyone this story since moving to Seoul. Not even Sam and Ashley knew the full story because I was still a little traumatized by the events. I could feel my hands shaking a little.

"One of the other dancers was a bit of a prima donna. She would make sure she was center stage for every show and showcase the Academy put on. When she heard the instructor had promised me a center spot in the next showcase, she made it her mission to sabotage me. At first she tried minor things like distracting instructor during my one-on-one time or petty name calling. I tried not to let it phase me because I was excited to be center in a showcase." I dropped my head and let out a slightly shaky sigh.

"Noona?" Jimin said. The amount of worry in his voice caused me to lift my head quickly. His face matched the amount of worry in his voice. Now I felt bad because I felt like I was scaring him.

"After a while, when she saw she couldn't get to me, she started attacking my appearance. I had always been self conscious over the way I looked. So when she started saying my dancing was terrible because I was chubby, it really hurt. And once she figured out she had finally got to me, she never let up. She kept saying my leotard mad me look fat, I had fat thighs, I would never be able to fit in a performance outfit unless I lost some weight." I felt tears on my face and as quickly as I could I wiped them off.  I dropped my head.

"Her words hurt so much I started doing anything I could to lose weight. At first it was just skipping one or two meals in favor of practicing. But as time went on it got to the point where i was going days without eating. The few friends I had tried to tell me what I was doing was dangerous but I wouldn't listen. About a week before the showcase I came into class after going about 9 days without eating. Everyone could tell I was super weak but I tired to ignore how I was feeling. At some point I got really dizzy. I tried to brush it off but it got so bad I ended up passing out. I woke up in the hospital the next day. Apparently I really hurt my body by continually starving myself. I mean I would go days without eating, eat one or two meals, then not eat for a couple more days. I missed the showcase and quit dancing shortly after. Now the only time I dance in my free time, but never in front of anyone. Today was the first time in years I danced in front of people." As I finished speaking I felt a hand on mine. I looked over to see Jimin looking like he wanted to cry. Now I  felt bad that I brought the story up. I didn't want to make him cry.