Hyunin Ff

His dark past

I haven't turned around yet.

Who would follow me this late at night and what would they want ?!

I pick up my pace and rush down the alley, to where there's a phone cell.

I don't hear any foot steps anymore.
Maybe I lost him or her, I pray.

I go into the phone cell, and dial, the first number that comes to my mind.
Hyunjin's.

(A/N: I know, no one uses phone cells anymore, but I just imagine I.N, standing in there looking hot af, while asking for Hyunjin.)

My fingers rap around the phone line, out of nervousness.

He doesn't pick up, so I leave him a message.

„Hyung... I think I need your help.
I'm kinda scared.
C-can we meet ? And I'm really sorry for what I did at the bar, okay.
I....I have to tell you something."

Suddenly someone slams the door open!
„Holly Fuck !!!"
My eyes widen and my jaw drops, once I see who it is.

„Come to Han river.", I whisper into the phone, right before I'm being pulled out.

„....Brother. Long time no see.", the male says, while tilting his head to the side.

Before I know it, I'm being pinned to some house wall.

„Daniel?? What in the world are you doing here?
Why aren't you in California ?"

„Ah don't even pretend like you give a fuck, Jeongin.
Or should I say I.N now ?", he answers  in a deep voice.

*So that's why he's here.*

I keep my mouth shut.

„Wow just seeing you makes me even angrier, than I thought I'd be.", he emotionlessly says.

*Yeah right.*

„Okay Daniel, I know why you're here, is that what you want to hear ?
Now fucking let go of me!!", I say pissed off.

Surprisingly he does let go of me. But I still lean against the wall, to put as much space between us as I can.

He starts talking: „okay just so you know, I don't give a shit about what you've become.

But once I heard you actually did become an idol, I had to come see you."

„Oh yeah, and why is that?"

„HA HA, he laughed in the most sarcastic way possible.
That's easy....YOU DON'T DESERVE SHIT IN YOUR LIFE."

He continues to talk: „you know not a day has passed, where I don't think about her.
Every single day I remember the night she died. How she slips and falls.....

He stops talking and thinks for a second.

But you.... how can you just live your life, like nothing happened. Why aren't you in as much pain as I am??", he asks as if he really didn't know.

„What do you want me to say?", I ask helpless.

„I want you to say you fucking remember.
That you didn't just forget.
God damn it should've been you, you know."

„What are you taking about ?", I ask carefully.

The dare.
It was yours, but she didn't want to put your life in danger, so she did it.
Pff you weren't even as drunk as her.", he says in disgust.

I think about his words, before I burst into anger: „That's enough Daniel!! I went over this so many times with my psychologist. You have no right to blame me!
It's not my fault. I have Dissociative Amnesia. I can't remember shit form our past. You're older than me. But I was just a kid. It was sick what they did to us. So if you want to blame someone, blame the guys who did this."

(A/N: Read the definition of Dissociative Amnesia at the end of the chapter, if you don't know what it is. I just looked for something that caused memory loss and found this disorder.
I don't want to offend anyone who has it! And also I don't know much about it at all, but the main thing is, that I.N lost the memories of his past).

Honestly I am not even that mad at him. I hate myself for developing this disorder, but I can't undo it.
No matter how hard I try to remember her, there's just nothing. And he is certainly not helping. But the worst part is I hate myself for forgetting her.

Tears form in his eyes.

„You j-just don't deserve to be happy like this. You know sometimes I wish you would've died instead of her.", he said, so quiet, I could barely hear him.

Instead of yelling at him, I just tell him my truth: „Daniel, I‚m really sorry.
What happened to her and to us...it's just not fair.
This whole fucking world is so messed up and we got forced to do things, I don't ever want to think about. Even though I don't remember them and only heard what happened from my psychologist.

But nonetheless you were the one who left me. You took off to a fucking different country, to not deal with the problems here.

Not a day goes by, where I don't blame myself, for her death.
But becoming and Idol is the best chance I have to distract myself and to move on."

He stares at me, completely in tears now.

Then his fist hits me in the stomach.
I don't know how many times, but after a lot off punches I feel my head hitting the stone hard ground.

I see blood dripping out of my wounds and Daniel hovering over me, continuously punching me.

He stops to take some deep breaths, and I role over to the side, to spit out more blood.

„Hurting me won't bring her back. You have t-to stop. ", I say out of breath.

„Oh really? No until I say I'm done with you. And who's gonna save you, huh?", he replies, with a deep laughter.

„Someone who's actually fucking more family, than you'll ever be.", I answer with a half smile.

Right in that moment, Hyunjin comes and pushes Daniel off of me.

I can't see what's happening, because my vision is blurry and my eyes are slowly closing.
All I know is that Hyunjin is here and he'll help me get through this.

„ I-I.N...Jeongin-ah! Stay with me, okay. I'm taking you to the hospital.", he says.
His voice is shaky and he sounds worried, but even more scared.

„I'm so sorry", I whisper.

The last thing I hear is him asking for what, but then I pass out.

The story is actually not about this disorder. Only these 2 chapters are about I.Ns past.
(Btw don't compare this word for word with I.N).

- - - - -

This is maybe also a confusing chapter for you, because I completely changed the plot and sort of my writing style.

But It'll make the story more interesting and the romance even better.
The next chapter will answer all the questions to his past, so please keep reading.😊

Thank you and adios :)