One-Shots

3. Dear Cupid (boyxboy)

Dear people reading this, it is a boy x boy, which means it's about gay guys. If you don't want to read this please turn back now (stupid homophobics...), but I hope you enjoy of course. :)

Contains some inappropriate language.

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18th July 2013 - Noon

Four years ago, I discovered I was gay. Not bisexual, just gay. I never really had feelings for girls except for great friendships. But as soon as a cute guy passed by I became nervous. At some point I even giggled like a girl.

All this time I spent most of my days with my girls, just because they are fun to be around.BMy best friend Christine was the first to hear me come out. The only thing she told me was: 'I knew it, I knew it all along.' Well that was motivating.

Apparently all the girls knew I was gay before I did. If I wasn't I would have fallen for at least one of them in the time being. That's their opinion. And maybe they are right, they are all pretty and popular. In a good way, they are nothing like the bitchy whore-like popular girls from TV shows. The guys at school never made fun of me being the way I am and that's great because that doesn't happen very often.

Me being around the girls made me popular and by coming out and not getting made fun of encouraged a few other to finally come out to. Because of that I made friends with other gay guys. Once I tried a relationship with one of them.

That was two years ago, he was sweet and cute. I almost instantly fell for him and when he told me he was gay I gathered up all the courage I had in me to ask him out. We dated twice and then we decided to tell people we're together-together. You know what I mean.

We were young, barely fifteen, so we didn't go far. We held hands in public, kissed passionately in private and 'teased' each other sometimes when we were alone. But we never really did something more intimate.

After half a year of going through a relationship like this he wanted more but I didn't. And he broke up with me because of it. The most stupid reason I've ever heard. I can still get angry when I think back to that time.

Ever since I was young I was interested in love. How people fall in love, make love and spend their whole lives together. I had a miniature Cupid on my desk holding a photo of my parents. And drawings of Aphrodite/Venus and Cupid on my wall.

Sometimes when I was in love or sad about a break up or had a wish for two people to fall in love I wrote a letter to Cupid with special ink. So when I threw it in the fire the letter would be indulged by bright pink flames and I knew Cupid got my message. Cause in less then two days I received a response of some sort.

I always imagined Cupid was my age, I grew up with him. And by now I think I can honestly say I'm in love. With my dear Cupid. Now you probably think I'm crazy as shit but it's what I feel and it feels damn right.

Last night I wrote him a letter, confessing my feelings.

Dear Cupid,

I write you a lot, telling you how I'm in love with someone or how I'm sad because of a break up. Or I ask you to help two people to fall in love. And I know you received all of them because you always did something to repair my heart, help me gather courage to ask the guys out or you actually make two people fall in love. At first I thought it was coincidence but now I'm sure it was you.

And right now I'm in love again. You probably don't wonder who it is, because you know. But just in case you don't I'm telling you. It's you who I'm in love with and it sounds crazy to say so but I am. And maybe I've always been, unknowingly.