Deep Connections - Levi x Reader

Chapter 56

"Don't throw that 'Don't you care?' shit at me. You should have thought about that before you struck me! Look, I don't want to fix this relationship just for you to do it again. What you did was completely irresponsible. You knew I was the one making the decision but instead you fucking punch me of a roof! You knew I barely had any gas. I could've fallen off that roof and died! And you do it all the fucking time! Abandon me for no damned reason! Remember jumping off the ledge without me? Remember punching me of a roof? See any resemblance between both situations? Because I fucking do. You like to believe I've got my shit together and can save myself in any situation. I can't-" Levi cuts me off by letting out a deep sigh.

"Stop ranting." He turns away from me, "I don't want to hear it if its how you actually feel." He replies calmly.

I WANT TO STRANGLE HIM!

How is he so calm in this situation?

"Is that how you really feel? Have you held all these grudges because they really bother you? If you tell me now, I will leave you alone." He faces me again, his eyes bore into mine.

Of course not!

Instead of expressing myself, I look away and ignore him. I face a box full of supplies and start looking through it with trembling hands.

"You can't ignore me and then start having a breakdown and expect me to do nothing." He mutters and starts walking over to me. He engulfs me in a hug and lowers us to the ground. I don't fight back, but instead enjoy his embrace.

His unusually warm embrace.

"I'm really sorry Y/N. I just... I just thought maybe you like Eren and was willing to do what he said without second thought. But obviously, I realised it wasn't true. Erwin left you with the decision, and I disrespected that. I didn't realise that until he wasted last words reminding me. Y/N, I'm really sorry I hit you. I shouldn't have. I won't ever. I wasn't thinking straight. I guess my emotions clouded my judgement. Please Y/N, forgive me. The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with for why you should push me away right now." He glances down at me and I wipe away stray tears. "I'm such an idiot. Y/N I'm sor-" I cut him off by letting out a soft chuckle.

"Apologise again and I might just burst out crying." I whisper. I remove myself from his embrace and sit on the stool again. "How could you think I like Eren?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulders.

"Your always really nice to him and he's nice to you. You aren't as friendly with Jean or Connie." He says looking into the supply box again. I turn my head away and nod, moving my legs as they dangle from the stool.

Levi brings out 3 things from the box and places them close to me. He moves over to me and opens one of the boxes, bringing out a tablet. "For the pain." He says and hands it to me. I take it from his hands, ignoring the tingles I feel when my fingers brushed against his. He closes the container and puts it back into the large box. I swallow the tablet dry and sigh.

He opens the next container, which seems to be ointment. He stares in my eyes for a minute and then opens the next box and brings put some cotton. He pours some of the ointment on the cotton and then squints at my face, before dabbing the cotton on my cheek. I fake a hiss and flinch for fun and suddenly his expression drops and he looks genuinely guilty.

I try not to laugh when he quickly apologises.

I'm such a bitch.

He puts everything away and kind of looks at me for a while. I squirm under his stare and look away. He walks over to me and then places a soft kiss on my cheek that isn't bruised. Surprised I move away and meet his eyes. "I'm really sorry about everything. And maybe I should've asked first."

"No, its okay." I quickly clarify.

I sound desperate.

"Oh. Okay." He nods at me then leaves the room.

...

What does "Oh. Okay." mean????

***

I lay on the thin cloth spread across the floor of my old study. I feel stupidly bored.

So many people died today, and I feel like I cant even properly mourn.

The tablet for pain Levi gave me earlier really kicked in and I feel better.

Maybe Mikasa is right about me being dramatic.

Its just, I wouldn't have felt this much pain if it was a Titan. It just feels more personal coming from a fellow soldier.

I hear the door squeak and I suddenly sit up, alerted by an intruder. My eyes shoot over to the door and I see Levi standing there, wearing a frown.

"Did I wake you up?" He asks, walking towards a chair nearby while holding eye contact.

"I wasn't sleeping." I mumble a reply.

"Of course you weren't." He replies and busies himself with something on the desk beside the chair.

An awkward silence presents itself.

I shift around and mess with my bracelet, trying not to do anything weird.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asks, glancing at me for a moment.

"Yes." I reply, my face heating up for some reason.

"We are... I guess you could say friends, again? Eh, right?" He stops and scratches the back of his neck.

Friends.

"Yes." I mutter, and turn away so he cant see my face anymore.

"Do you mind if I lie down on the blanket?" He asks, walking over anyway.

"Go ahead." I sigh and make space for him. He lays down, our backs facing each other.

Time pasts, and I start to feel uncomfortable on the side I currently am on so I turn around. I immediately come face to face with Levi. I feel my face heat up and I move away.

When did he turn around??

He raises an eyebrow at me, but doesn't say anything. I gloss over his features and notice how great he looks with the moonlight from a nearby window shining on him.

I need to control myself.

He moves closer to me and then whispers, "Don't yell." I look at him confused.

Why would I yell..?

Suddenly I feel his warm hands embrace mine.