Frequency

Torment

The ticking and tocking of your bedroom clock were starting to get on your nerves. You couldn't believe what just happened. A few hours earlier you were minding your own business, going with the flow. It was time to go home, and you were now home. Safe. But you didn't feel it. It wasn't in the air, nor was it in the way the oxygen left your lungs. Everything was off. So you decided to do one of your favorite things in the world: Shower.

The streaming droplets danced around your skin, feeling hotter in some places than others. Where ever the heat burned most, was where a bruise began to form. It wasn't the first time you had gotten bruised up, but this time was different. This time you blamed someone else. This time the bruises came from an unwanted force. This time you couldn't stop thinking about them. And to make matters worse, you couldn't stop panicking. Yeah, your anxiety levels were higher than most but right now they were through the roof. You showered quickly, scrubbing every inch of your temporarily tainted body. You grabbed a towel, wrapped yourself in it and sat on the edge of the tub. Contemplating whether or not to actually get up and get dressed, or stay there and sleep in the tub. But you forced yourself up and walked into the bedroom.

You looked at the clock on your nightstand. 11:30 it read. You pulled out some comfy clothes to put on and then your favorite black sweater. You threw yourself into bed, sleep finally taking over. For 20 minutes that is. You didn't want to be awake. not at the moment. But fear was winning tonight. You had been informed that maybe you should stay home for a day or so recover, and to be sure nothing else would happen. But you hated to be locked away like a damsel in distress. So disregarding orders, you threw on some sweatpants and shoes and ran out the door.

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A few more steps. Just a few more. You'd been telling yourself that for the past forty minutes during your "run". You were trying to distract yourself and from what was too obvious. You had been assaulted, and luckily it didn't escalate to anything more than a body pressed uncomfortably against yours. Yet that wasn't it either.

Why am I being so weird about this? I'm being weird because I got lucky tonight. I was saved by a hero... but why did I, of all people, have to get in the way of a hero's possible night off. And I didn't even get to thank him. Now he probably thinks I'm a terrible person. A sharp pain pulled you out of a spiral.

"Awe shit." You looked down to see that you had tripped over a gigantic rock, but then immediately smiled. This giant rock meant that you were only a few minutes from your spot. You were no longer in a rush. Your pace slowed down until you reached a tall building. The walls were covered with graffiti, green vines, and a few lights that illuminated enough of the wall to show a blue, red, and yellow streak. To the left of that yellow streak was a set of ladders and mini balconies like in the city. The only difference was there were no exposed windows, only buckets, covers, and brushes for the artists. You checked to see if the rusted ladder would hold your weight tonight, and it did. With lightning speed, you wiggled your way up to the first balcony and smiled. You repeated this at least nine times until you finally reached the top of the building. Your chest tightened for the same reason it always did when standing so close to the stars. You calmed yourself and took the final steps onto the rooftop.

All around you was open space. No walls that lead to doors. No poles or pipes leaking. Nothing but the wind and the stars. In the distance, you could see all the lights from your little community and even the bright lights that came from the city. The skyline was gorgeous true enough, but nothing could beat the millions of stars that were all yours. You looked down at your phone to check the time and to your surprise, it was only 1:30. This gave you plenty of time to relax in the cold air and even think. Think about how you would find your hero.

You were going to sit on the makeshift seat of bricks and old cushions you somehow managed to get up there. A few seconds later, a gust of wind hit you, and your skin was chilled. Another wave came through as your curls danced around your shoulders. It was as if the wind was listening to your most inner thoughts and feelings, and so did your playlist. Because the building was kind of old, it was out of the way and always quiet. But it was out far enough that your singing was never heard. You took advantage of this and the way your voice was whisked away by the wind. Right now, that's all you needed. Tune after tuned played and you sang almost every note. It was something that you could never let go of. No matter where you were. And that's why you were here now, singing to no one.

'Strawberry Shortcake' began to play and your heart ached a little. You were in the moment and something came to mind. You hadn't noticed how broken you felt until you started to hum. It was true that you weren't satisfied at the moment. Not with the night obviously, but also not with yourself. When that humming turned into a full song you broke down completely. Everything that happened just a few hours before came back. How helpless you felt, how you didn't want to be your bad but did the moment you let your guard down. You could have fought harder. Been tougher. Stronger. But you pushed those thoughts out and finished your one-woman show and smiled because you knew, you wouldn't have lunchbox friends to go to.

--- --- ---

By the time you got back home the second time, the beginning of your day was still out of reach. Rather than going to work exhausted and distracted you opted for calling your boss and letting them know you had come down with the flu. You thought it would be a great cover-up given that it was the beginning of autumn but knew better than that. You figured that the police had already contacted them so there was no way around it. There was no need to explain what happened. All that would matter was that you were okay now. And you were, for the most part. The only thing was that you couldn't get those eyes out of your mind. Not even for a second.

You wondered if at any point in his day he would think of you.

What was he doing out so late? I mean if it was his day off maybe he was just running. Or maybe it wasn't and he was undercover. What if I messed up his heist? Oh my gosh, what if I'm the reason for months of preparation down the drain because that hero saved me instead of doing whatever he had to do. Damn it Cat. He probably doesn't think it's your fault. But what if...

There it was again. That panicking. But you pushed it away through another shower, this time taking a little longer to relax your now extra sore muscles. You repeated the same routine from earlier only this time you could sleep creeping up behind you with a bat. As soon as your head felt the cool cloth of the pillow, your body welcomed the night, and all the dreams it had to offer. 

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Wow I'm really out here just dropping off the earth. But on the bright side I do have quite a bit written, I just gotta post it. Sorry for disappearing. But I hope to return soon. Not within the next few weeks but soon. Thx for reading 💖