Restart.

1

We were the privately cringeworthy couple. We sent dozens of heart emojis and countless x's and promised we'd always love each other. They wanted to be us, but they also hated us together. We fell in love at 15.

For him, it was love at first sight he knew I was the one, I was cautious but eventually became infatuated with him. We took things at our pace but I fell pregnant shortly after our 3 year anniversary we were classically scared and overjoyed at the same time.

Thanks to my late grandmother's very generous gift we bought a house together just before we found out. I got feelings of butterflies every morning waking up to see his face shortly before bolting to the bathroom to throw up due to the darn pregnancy symptoms.

That excitement shortly came to an end when it was the day before the gender reveal scan. I woke up seeing his face for the last time pecked his nose and forehead and pulled myself from his grasp to get ready for the day.

He told me he'd meet me at doctors office as his mom needed some help. He never showed. Ever since that day I had wondered if maybe the honey moon period was over. He saw me how I actually looked. Or maybe that my mood swings were too much or that he didn't want this baby and found a beautiful girl and ran away with her.

***

"You are my sunshine" I hummed swaying from side to side trying to soothe the restless infant in my arms, 4am wake up calls never get easier with experience.

"Baby please" my voice cracked switching positions in hopes of being able to find a way to get her to finally sleep. I closed my eyes pressing my lips to her head. "God, I wish Sam was here" my hands shook as I remembered how abruptly he left.

After drifting into the memories of our relationship I snapped back realising she was now asleep and I had a patch of baby vomit on my sweater. "You're a god damn pain" I cursed softly exiting the nursery.

I changed my pyjamas and dragged myself into bed. "God, if you're out there. I have one wish, I need some support here that man has left me with nothing but a child and a broken heart, just anything" I sobbed into my hands keeping my eyes shut tight.

6 a.m rolled round pretty quickly and there was a faint knock at the door. I chose to ignore and remained in a ball as I stared into space.

"Open up" it was Jack, Sam's best buddy. "What the fuck is he doing here?" I yawned going to the window. "Are you gonna let us in?" He asked with a half smile.

Sam's friends resented me in the beginning. They slowly got used to me realising I'm here to stay and that I'm not just temporary.

"W..what are you guys doing here? It's 6a.m" I asked half opening the door. "So, Sammy's gone. He's left you with a house to run and a whole ass child to raise." Jj began.

"I know we've had a rocky past but Stella, she's family and we wanna help out" Gilinsky added. "You tried to destroy me, you wanted Sammy to break up with me because you thought I was trash and now just because he's finally done what you wanted you're still in my life?"

"Evelyn, we're doing this for Stella" Gilinsky answered. As if on queue, Stella let out a scream. "I'll be right back." I sighed.

"Morning little love" I said lifting her into my embrace. I reappeared down stairs as the two men stood watching Stella's every movement in awe.

"You are adorable"
"Wow babies are so interesting"
I giggled at their remarks and they followed me to the kitchen. "What's for breakfast?" I mumbled looking in the cupboards. It had been at least 3 weeks since I'd been grocery shopping. Terrible parent behaviour, I know.

"You need to go shopping" Jj said I slammed the door shut and felt my cheeks burning up.
"Do you know how hard this is? Seriously?" I snapped.

"I'm 19 years old, I have a fatherless infant and a lot to fucking do but I can't because I am sleep deprived, I am jobless, I have been abandoned by Sam and my parents haven't spoke to me in 4 years." I felt tears prick my eyes.

"This is why we're here, we wanna help" JackG said whilst Stella had her chubby little hand wrapped round his finger. "We spoke to Sam's mom yesterday, she said she'd tried to call every week but you don't seem to answer. She wants to help too"

I exhaled deeply. "Why don't you drop Stella off with her and we can go to the grocery store and stock you up" I wanted to decline. I wanted to prove I could do this alone.

But I needed this, we needed this. "Okay" I stuttered walking over to Stella with her bottle full of milk. "Dope" Jj awkwardly responded.

"Her diaper bag, it's by the couch could you grab that for me?" I asked holding her to my hip as she drank her milk. "Anything else?" Gilinsky asked. "Uhh up in her room, just a change of clothes and her pacifier" I said.

The guys walked with me to Sam's family home and his mom quickly greeted me by the door. "Thank you lori, this means a lot" I smiled she nodded "I need to bond with my grandchild, maybe should arrange set days?" She asked I nodded "sure" I responded and walked to the car with the boys.

This wasn't the support I expected. This is the support I needed.