The Hog

Chapter 14

This Story is pretty lame and its content isn't as great as it should be but it was my first attempt at actually finishing something. I think this is the first thing that I've managed to complete so I am happy about that -555

Thomas and I are sitting under a tree in his backyard- it's become my favourite tree. He is telling me about his football scholarship- that he doesn't need because he is going to take a gap year and travel to India next year before enrolling at NYU for science. He has all these great plans for his future and he has been forcing me to plan too. So far all I'd had was a plan to apply to several colleges and see which one takes me. I wasn't even sure of what I'd study so I hadn't even applied yet but Thomas insisted I start thinking about it more. He wants me to go to New york, for two reasons. The first being that its far away from Frank and the second being that he'll be there in a year.

The last couple of weeks have been good with Thomas. He's been very patient with me, he hasn't forced me to tell him anything I don't want to and I've appreciated it but now sitting under the tree I finally open my mouth to talk.

"The only people who really know why I'm called Hog are Frank, Amy and a hand full of boys who were seniors four years ago. They know the real reason and those are the only people who will ever know. Not even Jeremy knows. And I can understand if you can't accept that, I really can." I pause and look at Thomas. I can see that a lot is running through his head.

"I don't understand it really but I can accept it. Its a part of your life that you can't share and that's okay, but if you ever change your mind I'm here." he nods.

"Okay. Now I have something else to say. Firstly I'm sorry for what I did with the whole attacking you thing, I know it was a few months ago but its not how I wanted this to go."

"Wanted what to go how?"

I don't answer him with words instead I put my hands around his neck and pull his head down to me and meet his lips with mine.

******

I'm shocked by her actions at first. She presses her lips to mine and I respond immediately scared that if I don't she'll change her mind and pull away. Just in case that happens I wrap my arms tightly around her waist and pull her closer to me. I don't want to let her go. Her lips are soft and her small body is pressed up against me and this is a wonderful moment.

She pulls away from me. "I like you Thomas Greyson, I really like you." She kisses me again. I smile into the kiss and feel her do the same. My heart rate has picked up- it was already hammering fast when she kissed me but after her saying that it went super sonic on me.

"I think I'm in dangerous territory of falling in love with you." I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek.  She wraps her arms around me tighter and moves even closer to me and I tighten my hold on her in response.

******

"I know it's wrong, but I convinced myself it was fine because he's only a substitute." Jeremy cries into my arms.

I pat his shoulder to comfort him. I honestly have no words to comfort him, I can't make him feel any better. I know the feeling of sleeping with someone and regretting it the right after. I think back to a certain college boy I once knew.

"It'll get better." I whisper into my friend's ear.

"I think the worst part is seeing him ignore me at school- I'm not expecting him to say 'hey Jeremy how are you love?' Just simply acknowledging that I'm in the damn room would be nice."

I continue to rub his back because that's all I can do.

******

Thomas and I arrive home around five in the afternoon. It's a cool Saturday afternoon and I'm smiling when I open the front door. Thomas will be staying for supper as he does lately.  We're surprised to find a sober looking Frank smiling at us. The smell of soap and shampoo fills my nostrils as I walk past him. He grabs my wrist to stop me and in a second Thomas is by my side giving him a warning glare.

"Relax man I just want to talk to her. I have news for you kid." he nods at me with and folds his arms,

"I called your aunt and she's paying for me to go to a rehab a half hour away from here. I know I'm a shitty dad and I'm not even going to apologise for it because saying I'm sorry would be a lie because I meant what I was doing when I was doing it.  So anyway a white van is fetching me in a few minutes." he hands me a folded piece of paper, "Here is the address, apparently it will help if you come and visit during family days."

"Do you want me to come?" my voice is smaller than I intended it to sound but I'm too in shock to speak properly. My dad is willingly sober right now, my dad singed himself into a rehab? Why?

"Yes, if it helps I want you to come. Maybe one day we can try this family thing again?" I nod and put the paper in my pocket.

"I'll come visit you." I say.

"Good then. So I'll just be going." he takes my hand in his and gives it an award shake. He picks up a small bag I hadn't noticed before and walks towards the door.

"Wait, Frank. Why now?" I turn to ask him.

He looks at me with a warm smile. I haven't seen him smile like that I years. I don't think I can actually remember him ever smile like that then he laughs. It starts out as a small chuckle but grows into something. Frank drops his bag and pulls me into a hug. I give Thomas a small smile to show him that I am okay. Frank even lifts me up and gives me a small spin before putting me back down. I stumble a little but Thomas is there to steady me. This is the weirdest thing that has happened to me in years. I almost feel like I am the star of those "got you" reality shows and I am half expecting the real drunken Frank to come out from behind a curtain and shout " just kidding!"

"I was trapped for all these years and I didn't even know it and yesterday I received a phone call that freed me. Francisco, your mother is dead. She got knocked over by a drunk driver and died on the spot two weeks ago, she's dead. She's dead for real this time and even though I've been sad about her for years her sudden death sort of elevated my spirits." he smiles and leaves.

I turn to Thomas who has a concerned look but I follow my dad's lead and start to laugh. I don't know what else to do.

******

"Who do you want to love Francisco?" Amy asks me one day in the cafeteria.

"No one will ever love Hog." I say.

"Don't call yourself that."

"Fine Amy, I don't want to love anyone.  Ever. Because they won't really love me."

"Love and be loved Francisco." She sighs.

"You think anything can be that easy?"

"Love is. Love is like blinking- very easy."

I look at my friend, Amy Tyson, and smile at her. One day I want to live in her world. 

 Thank you to my friend Sandi (Ladyhumour) 

-555