Life's Like This

Chapter Sixteen

A MONTH OR SO LATER
I paced up and down the floor. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening. It can't be happening. It can't. No way, no how. It can't."
"What can't?" Jesse asked, coming in our huge room.
I looked at him and started to cry.
"What's the matter?" He hugged me.
"I ski-ski-ski-skipped a a a a per per per—"
"You skipped a period?!....And you're crying because....?"
"Because I don't think it's yours."
Jesse laughed. He obviously thought I was kidding. He quickly stopped as he looked at my tears. "Then whose is it?"
".... I think it's Joey's."
"What?!"
"Don't you remember? What happened last month?"
"Oh yeah. I tried to forget that."
"What am I gonna do?"
"...Take a test." The phone rang before I could answer.
Jesse picked it up. "Talk to me.... Yes.... what? I just came back from there..... fine. I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up. "Bad news. I gotta go back to the studio."
"I'll see you later, then, I guess."
"Yeah." He got on the floor next to me. "Hey, whatever happens, we're gonna be okay. Okay?"
I nodded and tried to smile. Jesse kissed me gently on the lips and stood up. He turned to go when I stopped him.
"Jesse?"
"What is it, baby?"
"What happens if I'm pregnant?"
Jesse sighed. "I don't know."
"Will we keep the baby? Or will we thrust it on Joey?"
"I don't know."
"Have fun."
"I'll be back as soon as possible."
I watched him leave and cried for two hours.
"Are you okay, Mommy?" Nicky and Alex came into my room.
I smiled a little. "I'm  just tired. I'm fine, really."
"Are you sure?" Alex hugged me followed by his brother.
"Aww. Thank you. I needed that. I'm sure. Go play something quiet till Daddy comes back."
"Okay, Mama."
*****
That night, Jesse and I didn't eat any dinner. We were too worried about my possible pregnancy.
After dinner, Jesse and I watched a little tv with the kids, then put them to bed. We went straight to bed, for the first time ever.
I went to the bathroom to take the test. I almost cried out loud. Maybe it's defective. Better take another.
After awhile, I came out with a test in my hand. I sat on the bed and started to cry.
"What?" Jesse asked.
I hung my head and gave him the test.
"....Positive? Are you sure? Maybe you should take another, just in case this one's defective."
"I took that one just to make sure the first nine weren't defective!" I cried harder.
"How can you be sure it's Joey's?"
"Be-be-because we-we did- didn't do any- anything af-af- After wh-What jo- Joey di-did. Re-remem-member?"
"You were still shaken up. But what if it is mine?"
"Jesse, it can only on-ly be be yours if-If we di- did it whe-" I couldn't finish, I was crying too hard.
"It can only be mine if we did it when you were ovulating." He finished.
"Yes!!" I sobbed and practically threw myself into Jesse's arms. He hugged me tight and blew out a breath.
"Are- Are you m-mad?" I asked, my voice muffled.
"No, I'm not mad at you. You couldn't help it. You tried everything to stop him. It's his fault."
"Jesse?" I sat up and wiped my tears away. "You haven't forgiven Joey, have you?"
Jesse sighed. "Have you?"
I nodded. "I forgave, but I'll never forget what he did to me. Never."
"You're absolutely positively sure it's positive?"
I nodded, my tears falling fast.
Jesse sighed and pulled me closer to him. "We'll make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow." Jesse stroked my back.