now i am [karamel]

seventeen

tw// gun violence

mon-el

I caught her in my arms before she could hit the floor. It was some kind of habit, I guess, catching her even when we weren't on good terms. It was like saving her was some sort of reflex action, or something in my genes, something I couldn't control no matter what.

They say one's heart skipped a beat when they were scared for their loved ones. Mine skipped at least three. Blood was pouring out where she had been shot, and--

Shot?

I looked up. Most of the group had their hands over their mouths. They had never seen such a destructive weapon before.

"Alana! Find the person who did this!" I yelled at her and she immediately took off.

Gently, I laid Kara on the floor and pressed my hands to her wound, a feeble attempt to stop her from bleeding out. I looked at her unconscious face through my eyes which were blurred with tears, and a million what ifs crowded my head. What if this was it? What if happily ever after didn't exist, and we were stupid to believe that it did? What if I never got to see her again? What if the last impression she had of me was being neglected?

I shook her shoulders. She didn't wake up. I heard my voice whispering phrases desperately, phrases like don't go, I can't lose you, stay with me. I knew I needed to find a way, somehow... but I couldn't think clearly. Every second that passed, I was closer to losing her forever.

Someone shook my shoulder vigorously, and I became aware that the little girl with horns-- Annie-- had been calling my name for the past thirty seconds.

They were all looking at me. I realised they probably expected me to come up with some genius idea to save Kara. But I was blanking. I couldn't even think straight. Looking back, I think I wasn't even aware that I was having a nasty panic attack then.

Little did I know, it would be little Annie coming up with the plan.

"Mon-El, you mentioned something about Kara being invulnerable on Earth, right? Maybe if we get her back there, she's going to be alright."

I instantly agreed to the idea and carried Kara all the way to the ship, refusing to let her out of my arms. But there was a tiny and incredibly selfish part of me that didn't want Kara to return. After a while, she'd doubtlessly want to stay, and I wouldn't blame her. She had missed this life so much. And of course, I want Kara to be happy more than anything in the world, but the selfish part of me wanted her to stay with me on Argo, so we could continue living out our dreams.