Girl meets Perception

Reconciliation

"You want my help," his astonished voice rang out in the classroom and I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated response.

"Yes Isaiah, I would like your help," he shuddered at my using his full name before shaking his head in disapproval.

"Nope I won't do it, you're evil,"

"Really Zay-"

"Riley you fuck up everything you touch, I mean look at me and Lucas,"

I felt a pang of guilt run through me as I had in fact noticed their lack of communication. I eyed him a little, noticing for the first time his distressed appearance. His disheveled shirt, the bags under his eyes- he was a mess. "How bad is it,"
He sighed, blinked a little as if in thought and then cleared his throat.

"He won't even look at me,"

"I'm sorry," I managed after some time. Zay and I weren't really on the best of terms, but even I knew this had to hurt. He cleared his throat again, and looked away probably trying his best to keep his tears at bay.
"Maybe you should tell him,"

His head then shot toward me, surprise consuming his features, "you-"

"I'm- I was a freaking director, you think I wouldn't know this much about my actors?"

He arched an eyebrow at me before shaking his head, "What ever Mathews, all that still doesn't matter anyway because Lucas-"

"Is a thick headed cowboy, who would probably be in juvie if it wasn't for you,"

He let out a bitter laugh, "what are you talking about, the only reason he got in trouble back home was because of me,"

I folded my arms in disagreement, because I was growing tired of his being dense. "He has an anger problem with or without you and you know it. Your his anchor Zay. You always have been, I was just some - temporary distraction," the last part left me wounded but I managed to continue. "He's just hurt that you weren't this level headed angel he imagined you to be,"

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to process what I had said. It was sad really, their relationship. It was built on a false infatuation. It was no ones fault really, its just Zay thought he was protecting an overgrown idiot, and Lucas thought he was protecting an angelic yet sarcastic hamster. "You both need to stop,"

He nodded seemingly understanding my point. "I care about him you know, he has always been this nice guy who cares about his friends. To the point where he'd sell his liver if he had to. I was just trying to look out for him,"

I sighed, "Lucas doesn't need another parent"

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"Riley your not happy?" Mom asked, the words leaving her shocked features. Dad quickly grasped her hand and Auggie shot me a worried glance.

"What exactly do you mean Riley?"

______________________________________

"What exactly do you mean Riley?"

"I mean my dear dense friend you should actually tell Lucas about your feelings, you know with actual words" I was dragging him toward the main subject of our earlier conversation. I was going to fix everything I had ruined and I was going to start with both Zay and Lucas. I tried with Maya, but that would need a little more time.

"No,"

No?

I stopped walking and looked back at the frazzled boy I was pulling at. Tears had started to form in his eyes and his breathing had definitely become more laboured.

What was I even doing?

"Sorry," I said releasing his arm. I was doing it again- trying to control everything. He obviously wasn't ready to tell Lucas- or maybe anyone about this, and here I was literally pushing him to come out.

"Riley I- I just, he'll-"

"Hey calm down, you don't have to do anything. I just wanted to help."

His ragged breathing settled a little and he slowly nodded in understanding. "I'm not ready,"
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"I mean I just want to be- Me. I tired of hiding it," I looked all of them straight in the eye. My confidence never wavering. I was ready this time.

"Riley we want you to be happy so, don't fake a smile on the account of us," dad interjected after some time. I beamed at him for some what understanding my plight and then turned to mom. She nodded in agreement albeit with a puzzled look on her face.

"You don't need to hide if that's what your doing Riley.

______________________________________

Zay and I walked quietly next to each other, tolerating each others company for the first time. We headed to the cafeteria for lunch ignoring the dramatic ordeal we had earlier.             " thanks, " he mumbled once we entered.

I furrowed my eyebrows indicating my confusion for the spontaneous gratitude.

"For not telling, I mean you could have used my feelings for your manipulation thingy a long time ago but you didn't,"

We stopped walking once we joined the lunch line and I nodded. The guilt found its way back into the pit of my gut and I tried my hardest to ignore it. "I'm not that bad you know, I wouldn't use any of my friends in that way," I breathed more to myself than him.

"Sure, so what did you need my help with any way?"

I smiled at him, this time silently giving him my gratitude. "Everyone pretty much hates me, and I want to fix that"

He let out a low whistle before moving up in the lunch line, "that's a first, so what you want my advice or some thing?"

As if.

"No I need you to be my proxy,"

"Your proxy?"

"A liaison if you will,"

"I don't follow,"

"You will,"