The Take Over (Sequel To Saving His Princess Of Darkness)

Holding Onto Little Faith

I think--I think when it's all over,

It just comes back in flashes, you know?

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.

It just all comes back.

I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.

It's not really anything he said or anything he did,

It was the feeling that came along with it.

I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.

It was losing me.

You know after you’ve done something bad you feel the regret, the pain. It slowly eats you until you loose your mind. The thing is, is that i don’t regret what I have done, because I’ve learned from my actions.

All this pain, blood, torture, it’s the consequences of my actions. My actions-what I have done.  I was stubborn and did what I wanted and what did that result in? It resulted in me ending up like this- lost, broken and consumed by darkness.

As a little girl my mom always use to tell me that you cant have a rainbow without a little rain, but now looking back at her words, I think she’s wrong. Because I haven’t seen that rainbow, yet. All I’ve seen is rain, rain that never stops falling over my head. 

When I was little, I remember sitting down on my fathers lap, excited for him to tell me a fairytale. I would sit down and listen as he talked about the little orphan girl who fell in love with a prince.

He would stroke my hair and tell me their love story, tell me how they fell in love, how they lived happily ever after and then rode into the sunset. 

I grew up believing that. Believing that I can find my prince. My knight in shining armor that would grab me, throw me onto his horse and ride into the sunset.

How cliché.

How stupid was I to think that. I didn’t ride into the sunset when I fell in love; I didn’t live a happy life. I didn’t get a happy ending and lived in a castle.

I got the complete opposite. I lived a life full of supernatural creatures, pain, death and blood. That’s what I got and you know what? I not only hate my father for telling me stupid-unrealistic stories but I hate myself for thinking that i could get that happy ending.

When someone around you dies, you feel as if your whole life has broken down, crumbled into a million pieces. That’s how i felt when I lost Ian. That’s how I felt when I found out that Hope was part of the supernatural world and that Klaus wanted to kill her.

Its funny how everything in my life is tragic and tells its own story, and sometimes I feel as if I’m the reason as to why things have happened in my life.

I was stupid, stupid to think that my breaking my curse I could kill the one creature that had caused my family misery. I failed. I had thought I was strong enough for certain things so I did them.

Head held high, ego higher I did them. Ignored all the signs of bad all the warning’s and did what I wanted to do. And what did that result in? It resulted in me ending up like this.

A murder. A person who feels pain 24/7. A person who lost her family.

Ya know? I sometimes think that falling in love with Damon was a mistake. But it wasn’t, falling in love with him was the best thing that had happened to me. It was the choices that I made along the way, made me think that Damon was the reason, but he wasn’t.

Damon was there for me; he picked me up, wrapped his arms around my body and warmed my heart when I was in my darkest moments. Even though I didn’t get my happy ending I was treated in ways as a princess. I was Damon’s dark princess. I was loved, cared and even in my darkest moments I wasn’t left alone. And I thank god that I had fallen in love with a guy like Damon.

With all the pain, torture, blood, death, broken hearts around me, I still hold onto faith. I still believe in god and look up at the sky praying that he can get me out of this mess.

I look up at the sky and smile once I see the familiar purple, black and blue hummingbird flying in circles and chirping. It fly’s in circles for a couple minutes then lands on my shoulder for a couple seconds and then fly’s away.

I feel as if this specific bird shows me that there is some good still left in this world. That not everything is all about blood, consequences, supernatural creatures and pain.

This bird, little bird, full of bright colours living a happy life tells me a different story every time it lands on my shoulder. Its colours soothe my heart and I look at its colours and at this innocent bird I can’t help but smile and hold onto the little bit of faith that is left.

Because this bird, little bird shows innocence, purity and holds hope in its little eyes, and just by looking at it, looking into this little birds eyes I know that there is still hope.

Hope that all this pain goes away. Hope that Ian will come back. Hope that I will find myself and control my life. Hope that Hope, my baby girl will live. 

After everything that has happened, I still hold onto the little faith that I’ve got and onto my humanity.

Every family tells a story of their own. Every family experiences some sort of pain. Physical or mental. Every family has there good times and bad times but in the end they get through it.

They pick one another up and stand by their side, when they need help and that’s exactually what my family is doing. They are standing my side, picking me up trying to help me get out of this mess that I’ve gotten myself in to.

Every love story is different. Unique. Tells its own story. Every love story is beautiful and has its perks and faults.

My mother always used to tell me that true love story’s never end and I believe her. I believe her.

A true love story never ends.

Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite.

I love you Damon Salvatore, and I will love you till the day I die. Just don’t give up on me, because one day I’ll be back. I may not come back as innocent and pure, but I will come back as the Victoria that you fell in love with.