It all started in my mother's basement...Darkness and then a strange white light. That's right you guessed it. It was Grinch porn again. I Know I know third time this week but the more I thought about it the harder it was for me to get Cindy Lou Who out of my head. She was so hot. With that gelled hair and that pointy nose. She was... Perfect. I want to pretend like I am attracted to other people. I want to pretend like I'm normal but... I'm not. Days passed by and the more I thought about it the more apparent it became. One day I finally cracked... we were on a family bowling trip with my mom my 32 goldfish heads and my life sized cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber when I decided that I had had enough. I looked over to the place where you get your shoes and waited for the person to leave. The second he did I bolted in and took the intercom kept there. I pushed the speak button and a loud beeeep rang out before it went silent. I screamed into the mike MOM I AM A CINDY LOU WHO SEXUAL AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON AND I HOPE YOU LOVE AND ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. And That was the story of how I ended up living underneath this bridge. I closed my memory book and stared at the dumbstruck faces of the various sized balls around me. Terry the tennis ball looked disappointed in me. I would have to get rid of him later. I fell asleep clutching Lebron James the Whiffleball and Micheal Phelps the football. "At least I have you guys" I whispered to myself. Terry the tennis ball looked betrayed. He deserved it. I left my toothbrush at my moms house 7 years ago so instead I stared up at the bottom of the bridge and felt some leftover rainwater drip into my mouth. I used it as mouthwash to gargle and spit. Then I stared up at the bridge until I slowly yet surely sunk into a peaceful slumber.
