in the clouds ; minsung (✅)

clouds

he smiled as he walked into the large, beaten down building he called his high school. he walked past minho's locker, stopping and smiling at the image of the beautiful boy and the flowers around it.

he turned to see chan looking at him concerningly,

"hey, jisung.. you okay?" the older boy asked, tilting his head as he walked up to the smiling male.

"I'm fine" he smirked slightly, looking at the picture still.

"are you.. are you sure? are you sick?" chan asked again, feeling the boys head.

"hey, what are you doing, I'm fine." he responded softly, turning around,

"you just look a little... crazy... how's your head?"

"ah, it was a minor concussion, no stitches, I'm fine "

chan nodded, "well, I'll see you around."

"okay."

the tall brunette walked down the hallway a ways, stopping and turning around once he neared the end, "hey, jisung?"

"yes chan?"

"I love you, keep your head up, okay?"

jisung smiled widely and nodded,"you too. I love you."

chan sighed in relief and went on his way.

jisung stepped into class and took his spot next to seungmin, quietly taking out his supplies,

"hey, jisung. are you actually writing stuff down?"

"im probably just going to draw, but I'll at least listen this time."

seungmin smiled at the boy's efforts to partake in class and rubbed his back gently as the teacher went over material on the board.

after class jisung hugged seungmin tightly,

"woah, ji, what was that about?" the boy asked in shock

"I love you minnie."

"I love you too jisung... why are you being a weirdo?"

"no reason." the blonde smiled, leaving class. he spotted changbin and felix arguing in the hallway. pretty typical.

he stepped between them, "hey, guys, what's going on?"

"woah, jisung, you're talking again?" felix asked in shock,

the boy nodded.

"what's going on?"

"nothing. it's fine." changbin smiled,

"oh, okay. well, I love you guys." he smiled, walking away. he wanted everyone to know that they're loved.

he found himself stumbling upon jeongin and hyunjin,

"h-hey guys.."

"jisung." hyunjin addresses him with obvious anger,

"I.. I just wanted to say that even though we aren't really friends anymore.. I still love you guys.. okay?" jisung's bright smile became slanted as he played with the straps of his bag.

"oh, I love you too jisung!" jeongin chirped, hugging him.

hyunjin just stared at jisung without any amusement on his face. jisung nodded and stepped outside, scuffing his feet on the pavement as he walked home. he smiled to himself, humming he and minho's favorite song as he kicked at pebbles, the cold air brisking his arms.

he stepped into his house and looked at all of the pictures on the walls. he smiled at the joint family picture of the lees and hans. he felt his heart warm.
he smiled at the picture of his mom long ago with long brown hair wearing a ripped band tee, and his dad with nerdy glasses and a well put together polo on. although his parents were polar opposites, they fit so well.

he wondered, would he and minho had fit that well? he imagined they would have. he hoped that they would have. he imagined them raising children together and felt butterflies in his stomach. they mixed with the guilt, and resembled an uneasy feeling he was unsure of. he trudged up the steps, dropping his bag on his bedroom floor, his smile long gone.

he walked to his sister's room and looked inside. she had little pictures of her elementary school friends. her dolls were neatly kept, placed with what his sister deemed the dolls friends. her stuffed animals in pairs. nothing was lonely for her. warm and safe. he wished nothing better for her.

jisung closed the door gently and stepped back into his room, sitting at his desk and pulling out a piece of paper and jotting down a few sentences. he smiled at it afterwards, satisfied with his work. he folded it and left it there, the pen atop of it, keeping the contents hidden inside.

he laid on his bed for a minute, looking around his room. polaroids of the seven people that were his best friends scattered the walls. parties, birthdays, school trips, just hanging out; you name it, there was a polaroid of it. he almost cried as he recalled the ups and downs in each of the pictures, imagined the laughs and cries of his friends. he felt the butterflies and stomaches from when they'd stay up all night laughing. he felt all of the nostalgic things you possibly could. he smiled softly and went to the bathroom.

he retrieved his pills and sat on his bed. he was hurting, so he thought, "why not take them all? the pain will stop."

so he did just that and laid back, resting his eyes. he began to sweat. it was hot and cold all at the same time. his stomach started to squeeze and his face felt red hot. his stomach not only burnt and stung, but it also felt oddly big. as if it were expanding. his body stung and it hurt him more that what he'd ever felt physically, but it was no match to the loneliness.

he laid there and whimpered quietly as he slowly fell asleep; no longer hurting anymore. in fact, he was completely calm and comfortable as everything slowly turned black. he closed his eyes and gently held on to his stuffed animal, and not too long after; he was asleep.

he saw black and when he awoke, he heard a familiar laugh and felt sunbeams on his cheeks. when he opened his eyes, everything was blurry, but he made out a figure above him.

"come on jisung! I've been waiting for you! let's go catch up."

and with that, he stood lightly, feeling at peace, he felt light and bubbly, his heart full

"okay, minho."

the end