Running From the Devil

Chapter 10

Laney (Continued)

Ben hadn't said a word. 

We'd been sitting here for five minutes and not one single peep had left his lips.  I wasn't even sure he was breathing.  His fingers were digging painfully into my hips but I stayed still, knowing that once he got over the shock he would never want to touch me again.  I took the time to memorize his face.  The curl of his lips as he stared across the room in disgust, the absolute loathing in his eyes etched themselves into my mind.  It was so hard to see him look that way.  He looked so different from the Ben that I knew, from the Ben that cared about me.  The two images I had of him warred with one another in my mind, fighting for dominance.  With a vicious scream the image of the Ben I loved exploded, just leaving me with this man in front of me.  This man who was wishing he had never met me.  

"This is what you wanted, remember?"  My brain shouted at my heart.  My brain was screaming at me to leave, to get it over with.  He was done with me and the least I could do is retain some of my dignity and leave on my own volition.  My heart tried to pretend like it wasn't breaking but it was a bad liar and I felt every single shard of ice that stabbed into me.  Finally it happened. 

I felt the muscles twitch before he moved and knew our time together was drawing its last dying breath and out of desperation I grabbed his arm with my hand.  Please don't let this end.  He took a deep breath and motioned for me to get up.  I stood slowly, dying inside as I stared at him.  He looked into my eyes for a long moment and I felt hope start to blossom.  Then he turned away and didn't say a single word to me as he walked out of my room and shut the door. 

Good.

"This is what you wanted."  I reminded myself.  That's right.  I wanted this.  I wanted him to leave.  It was hard to ignore the bile rising in my throat and my shaking hands.  My body was telling me that I was lying.  Of course I was lying to myself but this is how it has to be.  To protect him from Daniel, to protect him from me.

I took a deep steadying breath and started gathering my things.  I didn't have as many protein bars as I'd like to have stashed but there was no time to get more now.  Atlas, camping stuff, food, and money.  Almost everything a girl needed.  Well and my cane, but hopefully I'd be done with that soon enough.

There was only one other thing I needed.  With my bag in hand I slunk down the hall to the elevators.  Mark had disabled the thumb scanner once it became apparent that their 'guests' would be staying for more than a few days and I went up to the third floor.  I went to the room the ladies from Martha's house had been using.  I had to look through a few dressers before I found it and I stashed it in my bag quickly, worried that someone would see me.  I could always explain I was coming to say goodbye if someone found me in the room, but explaining Martha's gun being in my hand would be a lot harder.  I felt bad about the theft but I knew she'd understand.   Since I was already upstairs I stopped by the kitchenette and grabbed every snack in the cabinets and shoved that in my bag too.   

I got back on the elevator and pushed the one button I hadn't used yet.  "Main."  It was like one of those bad movie scenes where the elevator ride seems to take forever while cheesy music tinkles around in the background.  If there had been another person in the elevator we would have exchanged that perfect awkward smile at each other.  Hollywood at its finest, except this wasn't a dream or a movie, this was my totally screwed up life.  I exited the elevator and ran smack into Steve who looked terribly angry.  Ben must have told him. 

"Good, you're packed.  Let's go." 

"What?"

"Ben wants you out of here as soon as possible."