Life happened. That's what Egypt decided to blame for him and Joshua never taking the time to have a chat. A chat. That seemed too light of a way to describe the conversation he and Joshua needed to have.
As they stood staring at each other right where they started in the apartment upstairs the garage neither man knew what to say.
Their bags unpacked in their respective rooms and nothing but space between them with Joshua at the couch and Egypt in the kitchen.
"Dinner?" Egypt asked and held up bread and lunch meat.
Joshua nodded. "80's or that new age shit?" Joshua asked as he flipped through the music channels.
"80's definitely." Egypt said and made them each a sandwich. He joined Joshua on the couch and they ate while the old rock ballads filled the silence.
When they finished their food and slid the plate onto the coffee table both Egypt and Joshua looked at each other simultaneously.
"Egypt-
"Joshua-
"You go first."
"No, you go first."
A shared smile and then Egypt was giggling. He missed Joshua so much.
"I missed you so bad." Egypt whispered and scooted closer to Joshua. He lifted his hand and lightly touched Joshua's new scars from the accident.
"Tell me." Egypt looked Joshua in the eyes and Joshua would swear those eyes held him prisoner for a few minutes.
"I started drinking. The less I was aware of, the less it hurt. I could sleep for a couple of hours without you plaguing me, without my shitty choice to let you go tormenting me." Joshua said.
"I thought of you being with somebody else. Forgetting me. Mason mentioned guys coming at you like that and it ate me on the inside thinking of you being with them the way you were with me. It hurt so much to think that you'd have another man's head on your chest while you sang him to sleep or cooked for another guy. Smile at another guy like he's the best thing since sliced bread. I-" Joshua swallowed hard. "I hated myself for letting you go the way I did. I hated myself for letting go the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Oh Joshua." Egypt gathered Joshua in his arms while his heart raced.
"It's all in the past." Egypt kissed Joshua's hair, his ear while he held the man.
"You don't hate me?" Joshua asked and Egypt pulled back to look Joshua in the eyes.
"No. I could never hate you. As much as it hurt to walk away when you let me I'm glad I did. Look at where we are now. We're together. We're together right?" Egypt hated how vulnerable he sounded.
"Yes. Yes a thousand times." Joshua laughed and hugged Egypt to his chest making the younger man's heart soar.
"Mason mentioned something to me a few days ago." Egypt's eyes widened knowing full well what Joshua was hinting at.
"When you went missing I kinda spiraled down. Lost myself somewhere between hating myself and hating life. I was flunking in school and wasn't eating." Each word cut Joshua deep, Egypt knew. "But then Mason and Beth came and visited me. I started seeing a therapist and I graduated top of my class." Egypt smiled at Joshua and Joshua tried to smile back.
"Can we go to bed? Just let me hold you." Joshua whispered. Egypt led the way and they both stripped off their clothes and lay together under the sheets.
After a few minutes Egypt couldn't keep quiet about Joshua's fidgeting. "What's wrong?" Egypt whispered into the silence of the room.
"Nothing. It's nothing." Joshua smoothed his palm over Egypt's shoulder.
YOU ARE READING
Joshua || MxM || Lgbtq+
Romansa#264 in Romance 06/02/2018 #267 in Romance 03/01/2018 #304 in Romance 07/01/2018 #455 in Romance 24/12/2017 *** Joshua Pits was a big man and that was mostly due to his job as a head mechanic at Pits Stop and Garage which he now co-owns with his old...
