Hurtin

I deserved it...

"I'm home mom" I screamed
"Miya I've just been on google looking for some diet plans honey"said my mom
"MOM I'm not even that fat" I replied
"Oh no honey your not fat, it's just for a healthy lifestyle, I need it to" said my mom trying to reassure me that it's definitely not me
Looking at my mom's face and knowing that she is clearly lying to me just made me wanna cry on the spot and I didn't want to seem weak so I just didn't reply and went to my room

URGHHHH!! holding onto my pillow
and screaming into it. Grabbing my pillow so hard and squeezing causing my hands to turn red...
"Am I really fat and ugly" I thought to myself

Crying myself to sleep was becoming a habit. Just merely a routine.

Next day
"Miya your English teacher called and she goes your assessment was very worrying, honey is there anything wrong"
"NO it's was just a story a normal story that's it" I said while leaving the dinning room
"BYE IM GOING"
"You haven't ate Miya" screamed my mom
"I'm on a diet now bye I replied while exiting the house"

Trying my best not to cry and just stay strong, but how much could I take.
"Miya" said jihyo
(Jihyo is my bestfriend.. we're not so close anymore... I just distanced myself from her)
"Why is your phone switched off" said Jihyo
"It's not working, now if you excuse me I have to go" I replied
"Miya where are you going"said Jihyo

School was just a place where I just spent 6 hours of my time... nothing else for me. Didn't want anything to do with it. Just wanted to do my time and leave.

"Oh look at that fatty, looking at her makes me want to vomit" said a voice
"Don't listen Miya, don't listen it's just voices.. carry on" I kept telling myself these words.

"When I'm talking to you, you reply piggy" said the voice
"HAHAHAHAHA PIGGY" multiple voice joining together
I'm looking around and seeing everyone laughing made me want to jump off a cliff.
"Leave her alone" said this tall guy named Yoongi 
"OOH look at this guy who has no life depressed shit" said the voice
"I'm not scared of you"
Me looking at Yoongi and staring at him and telling him to go.

Grabbing Yoongi arm and taking him away
"What do you think your doing?" I asked
"Helping you" replied Yoongi
"I don't need anyone help just leave me" I said to Yoongi while looking rather distressed and walked away without allowing Yoongi to respond back
Just couldn't have another person telling me that I shouldn't allow someone to talk to me....
When reality was that I wanted to feel pain cause I felt that I deserved it