Hurtin

~•Found a solution•~

Warning:
trigger warning for self injury, self-hate and suicidal thoughts"

"Miya, Miya,Miya" said a voice
"What Yoongi just leave me alone please" I said
"I just wanted to know if you got science"said Yoongi
"I do happy now leave me alone"I replied to Yoongi

Yoongi P.O.V

Seeing what happened to Miya yesterday really made me want to help her and be by her side but she kept rejecting my friendly approach
Why was that?
What was happening in her mind that caused her so much pain which was so evident on her face. I wanted to protect her.
What was happening to me what was this feeling.

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"Miya Miya, your ugly and look at you no one going to love you. YOUR FAT, ahahahah.
You better off if you die."
"AAAAAHHHH!!!" I screamed
It was just a bad dream.. what was happening.
Stop Miya snap out of it
"Come down Miya"screamed my mom
"Okay your grandma coming today and please best of behaviour or else she gonna go on a huge rant and for God's sake smile" said my mom while expecting me to smile
"What you want me to smile now... UGH no" I said
"It's not hard come on like this" said my mom while showing me how to smile
"HERE" I said while giving my mom a smile which had no significance.

4 hours later:
"Miya your grandma here" said my mom while taking my grandma luggage inside
Me taking  my mom advise and smiling very hard.
"Hi grandma" I said
"Miya look at you, you've changed you gone more I don't even know" replied my grandma
"Why don't you come here" said my mom while trying to cut of what my grandma was going to tell me, which I knew clearly where my grandma was going.

"So grandma how was the journey" i asked
"It was good my dear I'm just getting old and I can't bear these long journey anymore" replied my grandma
"So how long are you here for" I asked rather blunt
"What she means is that your stay is very less" said my mom rather worried with what I had said.
"No I did not mean that" I snapped back
"Miya why don't you go and make some tea for your grandma" said my mom

I just don't understand why she comes our house, we no longer talk to my dad as he decided to cheat on my mom and leave her for a nasty rag.. I haven't talked to my dad in years and my mom respects my grandma too much to say no to her.

"Look at all this yummy food" said my grandma.
STOP MIYA WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOUR UGLY AND FAT, YOU DONT DESERVE THIS GO AWAY
The voices they were coming again
"AAARRGH!!" I screamed
"Miya are you okay" asked my mom
"I'm not hungry I'm going to my room" I replied without looking at my mom while a tear was about to escape I ran upstairs

What is this voice UGHHHH
"STOP STOP STOP" I began screaming
"YOUR UGLY MIYA you should hurt, you should feel pain" the voice kept repeating itself
Hurt myself I thought to myself
I went into my draw and took out my shaver and broke it into half and took out the razor and headed to the bathroom and locked the door.

Staring at myself in the mirror and crying at how I was solving the issue without thinking twice I had marked myself and telling myself the reason why I was marking myself
"Cuz I'm fat"
"Cuz I'm ugly" i Said while imprinting it onto my bear skin
"No one likes me" and again
"I HAVE A SHIT LIFE" and repeating it until my skin started to pour out with blood.

And that was when I thought I had found the solution to everything.