im tired.
i am both physically and mentally tired.
im tired of constantly being fucked over.
im tired of being lied to.
im tired of trusting you.
you knew, and you promised. you promised that you wouldn't treat me like the others have. you promised that you'd treat me the way i deserved to be treated.
is this what i deserve? am i just...cursed?
did it start when my father took his things and left? because he was the first guy to leave me. he broke my heart before any other boy could.
but the leaving didn't stop there, oh no, of course not.
crush in preschool? he looked at me dead in the eye, said no one likes me, turned around and left; gone.
kindergarten through second grade crush? moved away and never called like he promised; gone.
fourth grade boyfriend? cheated on me; gone.
my entire friend group after i moved? gave me the cold shoulder; gone.
boyfriend from freshman year? distanced himself from me; gone.
these few people came and left over the course of ten years. but in this school year so far, I've been fucked over by three people.
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boy number one:
evan
we started talking when I posted something on my snapchat, asking people if they wanted to be on my private story. he slid up, and to be honest I didn't know who he was. we talked for a bit and he seemed pretty chill so I added him.
over the course of the week, we started talking talking, so I naturally told my best friend. she told me to be careful with him because she had a thing with him before.
she texted him later that day to treat me like a queen and whatnot and his exact words were "don't worry, im gonna show her what it's like to be treated properly"
clearly, he lied.
or maybe...maybe he was honest?
long story short, we sent nudes (don't do this please, just don't) back and forth for like a week and slowly drifted apart. during that empty time period, my friend told me that a girl at her lunch table was talking about how hot he is and how they're talking; basically he found someone better.
he even warned me that he had commitment issues, and my friend even agreed to that, because that's how they ended as well.
gone.
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boy number two:
luis
YOU ARE READING
irene's thoughts
Poetry" a book in which taestheticallysuga has minor mental breakdowns and decides to write it out for validation "
