Eccedentesiast (Brandon Darrow)

#BloodBalloons

[#BloodBalloons]
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
–C.S. Lewis
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     Going to school after everything even if it was three months since the incident was hard. Brandon Darrow and his gaggle of friends found every way they could to torture me. I couldn't sleep at all either because of the nightmares. It felt like my own personal hell. Today was no different either, I walked into school seeing a text when something exploded by my head.
      It made a loud bang as I saw the red on my shirt. For just a second it felt like I was back in that room, the yellow walls painted red. I looked up seeing Trevor and Brandon laughing and videoing it. I shook my head walking past them as I heard them shout loser over and over again. I walked into a bathroom trying to scrub the red from my face and shirt.
      "They did it again?" A voice asked and I looked up seeing Rowan standing there. Rowan and I had talked a little since the incident but we still weren't at best friend status.
      "Yeah I just keep seeing what happened replaying every time," I whispered and she gave me a small smile.
     "I know what you mean," she answered helping me. The door opened again and this time Hailey walked in. I had heard she had gotten out of rehab but I didn't know she would be back to school so soon.
      "Rowan?" Hailey all but whispered as she looked between the two of us. Rowan looked up and I could tell she wanted to be left to talk to Hailey herself.
     "I've got to get to class," I muttered pushing past the two. Red still stained my shirt so I grabbed the hoodie I had in my backpack and put it on. I had my head down trying to make sure no one noticed me. I didn't want people to notice me ever again, I just wanted to shrink away and disappear forever. When I got to class I took my seat which happened to be next to Brandon.
       I threw my bag beside me and grabbed my notebook as I continued drawing the picture that never seemed to satisfy me. "Reds a good color on you," I heard Brandon laugh and only when I looked down at the jacket I was wearing did I realize what color it was.
     "Please Brandon, I'm begging you, for once leave me alone," I muttered never looking at him. I guess it worked because he didn't speak again. I left class and that's when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I reached in and grabbed it looking at the text, when my blood ran cold.
From:MonkeyMan
Remember me. It's not over until bloods spilled.
      I started to panic as I dropped my phone and hit the lockers. I was having another panic attack and I couldn't breathe. I slid down the lockers as the rest of the school stared at me. From the crowd I could see Brandon Darrow staring at me with a look of sadness. I suddenly felt arms around me and looked to see Elisia staring at me.
    "Aspen you have to breathe okay," she said nodding and I nodded along. "In, out, just like that. Are you okay?" She asks and I nodded snatching my phone and standing up.
     "Thank you," I said looking at her and she nodded. I rushed out of the school and walked all the way home. I didn't want to stay there for a second longer. I opened the door to our small house and saw my dad at the table.
"Why are you home from school so early?" My dad asked as he removed his glasses.
"I uh I don't want to talk about it dad, I'm just gonna go to bed okay?" I said. He nodded and I walked up the stairs to my room. My dad usually stayed home in the mornings and left at night. He worked as a curator for a museum. He was a major history buff like that and he liked to work at night that way nobody got in his way. I threw my backpack on the ground and let out a groan as I slipped into my bed.
I grabbed my notebook and flipped to the page that held my drawing. Staring back at me was Dunbar Rakes. He had a wide grin, but I knew that wasn't what he really looked like. He should have had wild eyes, and a scared expression but I could never find myself drawing that. It was always just him smiling at me.
I still didn't understand what he was talking about. I had tried so hard to figure out where I had known him before I had met him when I'd moved here. I felt so horrible about it that my nightmares usually revolved around it. I sighed tracing my finger along the lines of his face. "I'm so sorry," I whispered letting out a broken sob. His words still rang in my head everyday, this is your fault.
I let out a yell and ripped the paper out of the book and balled it up throwing it across the room. I let the notebook fall to the floor beside the bed as I covered my mouth with my hand. "Honey?" My dad yelled running up the stairs to my room. He stopped short when he saw me sobbing on my bed hugging myself. "Honey look at me," my dad said rushing to my bed and holding onto me.
"It's my fault, all my fault," I muttered crying into his chest as he hushed me.
"No it's not, it's not your fault," he mumbled into my hair as he held me. When my crying died down I looked up at him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I said. He looked at me with despair in his eyes. He obviously didn't know how to help me, but it never stopped him from trying.
"Don't apologize honey," he said smoothing my hair back. "It's okay, what you've been through, you can't expect me not to see you breakdown," he answered getting up. "You're gonna be okay sweetie, I promise," he said walking out the door. I didn't know if I believed him or not but at least he believed himself. I sighed before picking up the balled paper across the room and smoothing it out.
    I folded it neatly and stuck it in the pocket of my jacket. My phone rang again and I almost jumped in the air. When I looked it was from Rowan asking how I was. I sent her a quick text telling her I was fine.

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