ineffable ~ alex ernst

thirty-four

"This is really fucking sudden, but I think I'm falling for you." The words tumbled from his swollen lips. He seemed shocked from his own confession; almost as if he didn't have control over his own words.

"Alex..."

"I mean it Piper. No, I don't love you, it's too soon for all of that, but I'm really falling for you. Fuck, I'm not good at these types of things. Somehow my muddled thoughts are coming together. Hell, maybe I'm not even making sense..."

I placed my finger over his lips to stop him. How could I tell him I was leaving LA after what he said? Now that his feelings were out in the open, I knew I felt exactly the same. It wasn't love, not yet anyway, but a deep liking, per se. 

"Alex," I started quietly. "I feel the same. But I need to tell you something." Alex nodded as worry overtook his features. My stomach tied into knots, and my mouth became dry. The sense of peace and happiness I felt moments before when his lips were on mine began to bleed away. Now, replaced with fear and complete emptiness.

"I was offered a scholarship to the college I've dreamed of going to. But it's across the country. In Rhode Island." The statement was simple, and I could see the pain flash in Alex's eyes. I felt as though I had just taken a stake and jabbed it through his chest, then into my own. And now I was watching the blood flow out of both of us.

"I'm so happy for you Piper, really I am." A forced smile spread across Alex's face. "You should follow your dreams. Don't let anyone or anything stand in the way of you and what you want to achieve." He stated as he brushed a tuft of my hair away from my face. 

"I don't even know what my dream is anymore." I sighed. "Sorry I ruined our date with my news." I said with a sad smile.

"Ruined? Of course not," Alex laughed. "I still had an amazing time with you. And whatever you choose to do, I'm gonna support you. I'll always be here for you whether I'm a minute away, or a thousand fucking miles."

"You sound like some shitty tumblr blog, fucking shit." I laughed, but still felt my face heat up. "But I appreciate you." Alex chuckled and picked up the stuff off of the ground. 

"We can hang out inside for a while, if you want." He suggested. I nodded and followed him back into his apartment.

i'm gonna finish this because a lot of u want me to! i'm so grateful for all of u who enjoy my writing, and all of the reads. i was gone for a while and i come back to 35.5k?? HOLY SHIT???? anyways srry for the  a n g s t y  chapter, more stuff coming soon