Undeniably Inclined.

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Adam

It's been a few days since my meeting with Mr Anderson. I've been avoiding him since, not because he did something wrong but because he saw me in such a vulnerable state and it got pretty intimate. So like I need time to get back to my old self. I haven't really spoken to Carlisle and Freya recently. We've all been quite MIA since everything, I guess we're all trying to deal with it in our way. Also, I haven't been able to sleep properly for the past week and I am really starting to see the effects.

I have English now and I really can't be bothered to analyse Lady Macbeth quotes right now. After taking my seat, I shut down and get lost in my thoughts. It's crazy how everything has changed in a few months. I was on top of all my subjects and I was at the top of my classes. Now I honestly dislike education. Now I can't even manage to get words down on a page. In the weirdest way possible, I miss my old self. I want to feel worthy.

After a dreadful double lesson of English I enter the canteen. I don't see Freya or Carlisle so I'm guessing they don't want to be here either. I race towards the staff toilets upstairs because I managed to get the code last year. I run into the big toilet at the end of the small ones and lock the door. I sit and eat the sandwich my mum packed this morning. I wait until lunch ends and leave. I don't want to hide but I'm scared if I expose myself to the world I'll break down and everything will come crashing down.

I get home and of course my obnoxious dad is waiting for me. Before I can race to my room, he stops me and asks if he can speak to me.

"Adam, I spoke to your teacher today, Mr Anderson, and he says you committed to your first session. I'm proud of you son. But your grades are still slipping. Me and your mum have come to an agreement. After your mocks if your grades aren't up then you won't be attending Paramore anymore."

"What! why? you can't do that! I only have a few months left, what different would it make! Do you know what? send me away. At least I'll get away from you both. All you care about is our reputation, how others see us. When have you ever really cared about me. Well do you know what find another child to torture because I've had enough."

I leave the house and run before my dad can catch me. I have nowhere to go, but anywhere is better than home.

It's dark. I check my phone. It's 10pm and I have 7% charge left. Luckily, I'm in my uniform so I can just go school in the morning. Wait. I can just go school now, they always leave the back door open.

It's 11pm now. I'm in Mr Donatellos office because he has a sofa with cushions. I eat some of his snacks and get some water from the school kitchen. I get comfy and eventually fall asleep.

It's 6am, I purposely set my alarm for 6 so I could hide in the toilets somewhere. I wash my face and brush my teeth with some toothpaste I found in the first aid room. I use my emergency hairbrush and cream to try and look presentable. I mean I still look like death but not as bad. I wait until 8:20am and leave to act as if I came to school. I'm pretty sure my parents didn't even realise I didn't come home. I go to my first lesson which is Physics with Mr Martin. Great.

I start to fall asleep 20 minutes into his lesson until Mr Anderson knocks on the door. I'm twisting my toes and fingers he isn't here for me. He enters,

"Sorry Mr Martin, can I have Adam please? He'll need to bring his things"

Great. I mean I shouldn't be missing out on education! I have my GCSE's soon. I leave and avoid eye contact with him. He of course talks anyway,

"Adam I haven't heard from you since our conversation, what's wrong?"

"Why do you assume something's wrong?"

"No um I just meant I thought you felt comfortable talking to me?"

"Look, I appreciate you speaking to me, it did help but you saw me in a state only my closest friends have seen me in. I feel embarrassed."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. At all. In a way I'm glad you were in that state, it meant we were making progress breaking down all these walls you've built up."

"Why do you keep trying to fix me?"

"That's not what I'm trying to do. You're not broken to me, I just think you're at a rough time in your life and you could do with some guidance and perhaps support"

"Just ask me what you wanna ask already, you don't need to sugarcoat it"

"Alright. have you thought about what you're going to do if the police find out?"

"Go prison. I mean It's what I deserve right? I'm a murderer."

"Adam"

"No. why are you doing this? Just be honest with me. I don't want to hear anymore lies!"

"Do you miss how your life used to be?"

"Of course I do, I was worrying about getting an A* on an exam, now I'm worrying about getting sent to the police station"

"Have you spoken to your parents about any of this?"

"Are you joking? They're the last people I'd tell. I mean I went home yesterday and my dad literally said he would send me away if I failed."

"Okay well today when you go home, explain this to them, that you want them to hear you. the real you."

"I'm not going home okay. I didn't yesterday and I don't plan to today. You don't understand they didn't even realise I didn't come home yesterday. They don't care about me unless it effects their reputation."

"Where did you stay yesterday?"

"Don't worry I'm here aren't I?"

"Adam. It's dangerous, what did you eat? how did you sleep?"

"I'm fine okay. I slept in the school if you're that concerned."

"You can't keep staying here! you won't be able to survive here. You know I'm going to have to tell your parents if you don't go home"

"No, that isn't why I told you! If you call my parents it's only going to get worse. Promise me you won't say anything? please?"

"Alright. But tell me where you're going to stay first."

"Here I survived yesterday."

"No. Um you can stay at my house if you want? I have a spare room. Don't worry I know you might feel scared after the whole James situation but I promise you'll be safe"

"That's kinda weird I'll be fine here thanks."

"Adam, I wasn't asking. It's my job to make sure you're safe. Come on we can watch weird teenage shows for the rest of the day. Also, you can call your parents to tell them you're staying at a friends."

"Fine but don't tell anyone because this is embarrassing and suspicious."

"Trust me I know. I'll pick you up after school behind the building. I care about you Adam and I want you to know you can count on me"

I guess I said yes because for once in my life I feel like someone really wants to help me without having an ulterior motive. I feel wanted. I can't deny it feels good.