ᴄʀᴜᴛᴄʜᴇs || ᴊ.ᴊᴋ + ᴋ.ᴛʜ ✔️

nineteen: hope's angel

There were only a few days left until winter break.

Taehyung wished it were here already.

He had never hated school, but right now, he didn't want to be here. He felt like there were much more profitable things he could be doing with his time, even if those things just included taking a leisurely stroll to clear his head. Or playing video games. Or helping his grandfather at work.

Anything would be better than this. And how he felt right now. Sad. Confused. And maybe just a little lonely.

Jungkook didn't come to school, but that didn't really surprise him. Considering the state Taehyung had found the boy in yesterday, something told him it would take some time before Jungkook could come back.

And in some way, that was alright. Because Tae didn't really know how he would act around Jungkook now. He didn't want to act any different, or believe that he would, but again, there was no telling... His feelings were in a painful, twisted knot. Scattered puzzle pieces...

It was the same scene as on December 1st. Tae's classmates noticed a peculiar change in his behavior, and several asked him about it, to which he responded that he'd be alright, he just needed to be left alone.

In class, he couldn't focus. In PE, he ran slower than even Yoongi. And that was saying something.

Then came lunch. Taehyung moved to the cafeteria, just for the sake of getting something from the vending machine because he couldn't bring himself to pack a lunch that morning. Just something small would do. He inserted some money and pressed a random button.

Spicy chips fell into the machine's take-out port.

He sighed deeply. Of course it had to be that. The one obscure food item that made him remember Jungkook.

Sighing deeply, Taehyung lowered himself to retrieve the chips, then made his way over to an empty table and started to eat.

The table didn't remain empty for long, though. Because for a certain someone, it was pretty freaking difficult not to notice when a fellow ray of sunshine was being held captive by storm clouds.

"Here, Taetae. Have some actual food."

Hoseok sat down across from him and slid a small container of pork and rice across the table. Taehyung glanced at the food, then up at his friend. "I'm not gonna take your lunch, Hobi-ssi."

"Why do you call me Hobi-ssi, Taetae?"

" 'Cause I respect you."

"So? We're close friends, aren't we? You don't need the honorifics. I've told you that. I respect you, but I don't call you Taetae-ssi, do I?"

Taehyung was silent for a moment. Then, looking down at his bag of chips, he sighed again. "You're right. Sorry, I'll drop the -ssi."

It was rather disheartening. Hoseok hadn't meant to discourage Tae in any way by insisting he didn't need honorifics—rather, he had hoped to assure him, and remind him, that they are, and have been, close.

But Tae was upset and Hoseok had to remind himself of that.

"C'mon, Taetae, share my lunch with me. I brought a lot today. Please?"

"Only if you let me pay you back."

"I mean, sure," Hoseok chuckled, "I can't really argue with a condition like that."

With that, Taehyung and Hoseok both gradually began to pick at the food in front of them, peacefully eating together without saying much at first. It was comfortable for a little while. But Hoseok hadn't just come over here to share his lunch with Tae—although making sure his friend got enough to eat certainly was important, so were the boy's feelings.

"For what it's worth, Taetae, I think you're right for him."

Slowly, the dejected boy lifted his head to meet Hoseok's warm gaze.

"You are in love with Jungkook, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he replied in a soft voice. "Is it obvious?"

Hoseok smiled. "A little. But that's just because I got so used to seeing the way Jungkook looked at Jimin. So I know what being in love looks like."

Taehyung started to shrink into himself. It hurt to imagine. It hurt to imagine Jungkook looking at someone else the way he looked at Jungkook. "Why didn't you warn me?"

"Taetae, if I told you Jungkook used to be in love with Jimin, you might have given up too soon."

"Well, it wouldn't have made a difference since I might be giving up now."

"Is that really what you want to do?"

It wasn't. In any way. But his heart was trying to get the best of him right now, and letting go seemed to be the easiest and quickest way to relief. But again, it wasn't what he really wanted.

He wanted Jungkook.

Biting his tongue, Taehyung drew in a deep breath and released it whilst slowly moving his arms into a folded position. His forehead was starting to hurt from how long his brow had been furrowed.

"I want him...to love me, too."

Cruelly, these words only added to the ache. Harbored feelings, having been bottled inside his head without him having realized it, only to be let out after learning things could be hopeless for him. Deep down, maybe he had been aware he was in love with Jungkook. But those text messages he received from Jimin the day before really drove it home.

"I want him to love me..."

His lip quivered just a little.

"But if he won't love me, I just want to know he won't hate me, either..."

He was on the verge of tears, by some inexplicable means holding himself together. Hoseok didn't know how. But he knew that right now, watching Tae progressively sink into a pitiful acceptance hurt his own heart.

Hoseok was a positive person. But he wasn't irrationally positive to the point where he'd so easily get trapped in denial. From being around Jungkook so much in the past, and seeing the pure affection that poured from the boy's eyes whenever he would look at the orange-haired Jimin who had been his friend since forever...Hoseok knew. That was love. To a powerful extent. He had been around to witness the overwhelming hope and joy on Jungkook's face after they had won the tournament just several months ago.

But he had also been around to witness the heart wrenching confession. Something Hoseok wished he never had to see or hear.

That memory was seared into his brain.

He didn't want anything like that to happen to Tae. To Hoseok, Taehyung was this precious angel he wanted to protect, to make smile and laugh and see happy—he wasn't in love with Tae, but he loved him. A pure friendship which he valued more than anyone knew.

He just wanted Tae happy.

Rising from his seat, Hoseok moved over to Taehyung's side of the table to sit beside him, then wrapped his arm around him.

"Don't give up, Taetae."

He pressed a soft kiss to the boy's temple.

"Just remember, Jimin's been with Jungkook since the prime of his happiness and innocence. But you managed to befriend Jungkook at his lowest. That's pretty darn special, wouldn't you say?"

Taehyung hesitantly looked over at Hoseok, who was smiling in such a way that Taehyung couldn't help but feel encouraged. He sniffled.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Now remind me again what the first rule is of the Kim Tae Code?"

"Don't go a day without a smile. There's always a reason to."

"And-?"

Taehyung turned towards him fully now. Hoseok was being absolutely impossible. Smile stretching from ear to ear, the redhead waited until Tae gave in and smiled, too, then hugged him.

"There's my special guy~" He giggled and squeezed Tae tighter. "Happy and hopeful. No one could ever hate you. Especially not Jungkook."

And me most of all.