Like I have said before, people have changed me. I really want to try to be a better person, but I sometimes I can get lost in my feelings or thoughts. Still, I'm really happy to know at least I had one person who was there with me the whole time. Now, here's chapter 22.
When I got into World History, the class became a blur. I don't remember listening to the lesson or even taking down the proper notes. The people around me didn't look or sound real. I tried to block the moment at lunch out of my head, but they wouldn't leave my mind. I tried to think of something that would make me happy, like music or youtubers that I became fond of, but nothing worked.
I even tried to think of Jeremiah during the moment, but all that I seemed to want to do was lock myself away. I hated to know that I wanted to cry. I hated that I wanted to collapse and face the fact that who I am does not matter.
I hated that I felt so weak.
When the class was over, my legs were heavy but I forced myself to walk quickly. My next class was with Kassandra and I knew that she was going to bring up what happened.
I didn't want to talk to her.
As I made my way over to my classroom, Kassandra was waiting for me by some passing rooms. She had an expression of worry or concern, but I didn't take the time to ask her if she was alright. I didn't greet her, but I instead just looked her in the eye and walked next to her. I can't remember if she asked me if I was okay, but all I knew was that I didn't want to talk.
My throat felt dry and I felt my anger continue to rise despite me desperately trying to keep my mouth shut.
As Kassandra and I walk closer to our class, I felt something sink within me. I stopped walking towards our classroom and loudly clicked my tongue in frustration.
"You know, I don't even want to go to class." I say harshly and turn to the left to head towards the high school bathroom. I could hear Kassandra calling me from behind and telling me to stop, but I didn't care or want to even think about the consequences of skipping class could be.
When I got into the bathroom, I locked myself in the biggest stall and ignored Kassandra's pleas for me to come out and come with her to class.
"What if your Mom finds out that you skipped class?" Kassandra asked in a nervous tone.
"This isn't the first time that I've skipped a class. I know how to make it look like an accident or just a mistake. I'll be fine, just go to class." I acted like I was confident, but I just wanted her to leave me alone. I didn't want to be around anyone that sided with him.
"But-"
"I'll be fine! Just go to class, you're going to be late." I didn't want me voice to come off as rude or anything and I even tried to show Kassandra a smile through the small opening of the door, but I knew that I needed her gone in order to let it all out.
Hearing a sigh from the other side of the door, Kassandra went to class and I was able to let myself break when I was finally left alone.
I cried hard and had to cover my mouth at times to stop small whimpers from escaping. I remember texting Jeremiah about what happened and he told me that I deserved to appreciated and that it was wrong for everyone to side with him despite everything I had done for them.
He reminded me that I should not let others use me or even allow others get that close to me. That in the end, people are selfish and will try to allow others to play the fool in their game, no matter how good they try to be.
YOU ARE READING
The Devil's Trap
Non-FictionThis is not a story or a book about fictional events. Everything that I wrote in this is true. When I was a Sophomore, I was friends with a certain boy who became one of the people I hate the most. Everything he did to me, everything he said to me...
