Braver Than I Used to Be

Chapter Twenty-Five

Monday morning the rumor of Ray and Victor had spread to all inches of the school. Everyone was talking about it and Ray and Victor fed into it, they made no effort to hide themselves holding hands or kissing each other good-bye, everyone stared at everything.

In first period I heard some girls ask Victor about it, he confirmed it for them. In second period Anita looked at Matthew when we both sat down.

"Is Ray really gay?" She said to him.

Matthew looked back at him, then to her. "Yeah, why? Thought that was a lie too?"

"It's a waste."

"Well then it is a good thing none of us asked your opinion." I said to her.

"I was talking to Matthew." she snapped.

"You are talking about my brother. You're just mad that now you and any other girl like you definitely don't have a chance with him."

"Oh, I am sure you are so happy."

I scratched my eyebrow as I grew increasingly frustrated. "You know what, yes, I am very happy. My brother gets to find someone who likes him for him and not because of his looks."

Anita started to mumble something and I couldn't hear her but I knew it was about Ray and it was making me see red.

Matthew watched me closely and then I heard the words that would set me off.

"Only you would be happy to have faggot as a brother."

Before I could tell myself, this was a bad decision, I was out of my desk and slamming my fist into Anita's eye.

She screamed and I landed another hit on her nose. Then I was being forced off of her. Matthew held me back as I tried to pull away from him. Anita was on the ground crying, holding her face and the teacher had just walked in.

"Go ahead! Keep talking about my brother!" I screamed as I tried to pull away.

"Rita, calm down." Matthew whispered. "Calm down." He pulled my arms behind my back.

"Principle now!" Ms. Warner yelled to both of us.

"But she hit me!" Anita defended herself.

"I don't care! I have watched you antagonize her all year! Get out of my class! Matthew please escort the both of them."

As we walked to the principal's office, I saw Matthew texting.

"Texting Ray?" I said.

"You know it. And your Dad."

"Well he better be prepared to donate something on my behalf. I am not standing for anyone talking shit about Ray."

"You sound like him now." Matthew laughed.

"I guess his training paid off."

Anita's nose was bleeding all over the floor and she was sent to nurse first. Matthew was sent back to class and Principle Anderson wasted no time calling my Dad. My Dad spoke for about five minutes before I heard Principle Anderson talk. "Well, I will let her go home today, but the other two boys have to stay in school." A few more minutes of silence, "Okay, I understand, then just Ray can go. Matthew has to stay." He was nodding his head, "Absolutely sir, she will be spoken to. We do not tolerate that kind of talk in our school."

He hung up the phone and sighed heavily as he focused on me. "So here is the deal I worked out with your father. You will not be suspended since you are one of my top students. You will go home today. Matthew must stay in school and Ray can take you home. If you get into another fight, you will be suspended."

"And what about Anita?" I said.

"She will be sent home too. She will not be suspended. Ms. Warner has asked that I remove her from class after she was told about what Anita said. Anita will be switched and I expect no more problems."

"Yes sir."

"You are on track to be Valedictorian by the time your graduate next year, I was planning a meeting with you about it before the school year ended. Your boyfriend is not far behind you either. I just need the both of you to stay out of trouble and improve your attendance. You are very close to a four point oh grade point average and I am really hoping you will be Valedictorian next year when you graduate."

"I see. Well there have been a lot of things going on in my life that have heavily affected me. I am still trying, but some days are harder than others."

"I understand Rita, I just want you to know how close you are to this accomplishment in hopes that it will help you find a way to focus back on your school work."

"Don't take this the wrong way, I take a lot of pride in what you just told me, it means a lot to me. But sometimes I just don't care about my grades or any of that because at the end of the day, when I am no longer in school, I still have to deal with the things going on in my life. Like my mother left me Principle, she left because of me and she does not hide it. I mean that has a bigger effect on my life than my GPA. So, if I don't make it to Valedictorian, I will be okay."

"I am sorry about your mother, I really am. I imagine that is hard to deal with."

"It is, I'll try to keep my grades up for the sake of you, but just know it hardly matters to me these days. Maybe next year it will."

Ray drove me home and was silent for the car ride. When we got home, he sat on his chair in my room and I sat on my bed. I could feel him itching to say something, but I knew he wasn't sure what it was.

"I know what she said wasn't okay, but it doesn't matter to me. I knew when I came out that people were going to say things like this. I had to tell myself that it didn't matter to me, that I don't care. These words hurt, but they won't change my mind about Victor or anything I do."

"I just couldn't help myself. She was so nasty and talking shit under her breath, and I snapped."

He smiled, proudly, "I know, that has been me for the last eleven years. These past six months, I have learned. I learned that you didn't like me fighting and that it got both of us nowhere. You didn't care what these people were saying about you anyway. My fighting was pointless. After everything that has happened, I'm at peace. I have no desire to fight or be angry. Mom is gone, you know the truth, I found someone I am finally happy with and so have you. Now, I am here to tell you, you don't need to fight. Not for me. I will be called way worse things along the line. After we turn eighteen it will be more serious for us if we keep acting like this."

"Okay," I nodded, "No more fighting."

He rolled his chair over in front of me and took my hands in his, "And thank you for defending me." He kissed my forehead.

At dinner I had to go over the details of the fight for my Dad and Victor. I also told them about my meeting with Principle Anderson. My Dad was impressed and told me he wanted me to work as hard as I can to be at the top of my class. Which, I don't think I liked. It felt like the pressure I always had on me. But grades were very important to him. He always told us that one day he may not be around and we needed to be to succeed without his money to help us.

I used to think that meant he could die young, but when he said that to us tonight, I felt like he didn't mean dying, like there was something happening with him that no one knew about.

"Ray and I agreed, no more fighting." I told them after I went over what happened.

"Good, there shouldn't be. You guys will be adults next school year. I think you guys are cleaning up nice, so I have faith you two will be fine once you graduate." My Dad said proudly. "I'm sorry things had to get the way they did, but I think it has changed all of us in a better way."

That was how the night went and it scared the shit out of me. My Dad was positive and supportive and talking about us growing up. It wasn't a bad thing, but it just gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't think he was dying, but I felt like he was preparing us for him to exit our lives.

I didn't say anything about my feeling, because I knew I was overreacting. My Dad loved us and wouldn't leave our lives, not with everything we have been through.