a vent book ._.

1-27-19

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me, in fact, just don't read this. Unless you want to, IDC :)
DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS OR ADD THIS TO A COLLECTION, you can comment or add it into your library, IDC about that.

Anyways

So lately things have been..rough

My family isn't doing very well on money

My depression is getting worse

I feel on edge almost all the time

Let's get into those things, shall we?

My family isn't doing well, money-wise.
I don't know why, maybe because of my dad's hospital bills
They are huge XD
That's it for that

My depression
My depression has never been at a very high point ever (except for one time)
but its getting worse now
Jeez I'm being so dramatic sorry. Um so it might get to a bad point.
I don't want to die, but at the same time, I do. :D
Its not to that point yet
Yet
:P

That quirky moment when you start thinking about ways to die XD I'm so quirky and random
I'm NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS
And one of my lights went out
It keeps doing that

Can I at least have this one thing? Two lights in my room? Lol

Anyways

About me feeling on edge,
Band makes me feel really happy and really depressed at the same time. In band I feel like at any moment someone will just make fun of me, and everyone will laugh.
My band teacher is choosing section leaders tomorrow
Oh God
I'm praying that it is me and that it is not me at the same time
But I fear it will be me or, probably, a different person
I hope its a different person
Jeezus I'm so ungreatful
At school I feel like at any moment my friends will bring up my crush
And how he rejected me last year...
It still makes me sad to this day
We exchange looks at each other, but its probably just him taking a glimpse to see how weird I really am.
Even with all this, school still seems like an escape to me.
I feel like I'm the third choice for everyone..

Enough with my stuff at school and family
Time for online..

Uhm, so I have these two amazing sisters, Calico and Holly. They are such good sisters and I wouldn't trade them for anything, not even cheesecake.
Tap tap on mah window
I'll check
It was probably a bird.
Back to what I was saying.
Yeah, I have two amazing sisters.
And we talk over discord.
But lately we haven't been talking as much.
As Calico and I have a different timezone as Holly.
So she can't talk with us as much.
Talking with Calico is great.
Talking with Calico AND Holly, is even better!
So Holly has some other friends that she talks to when she's online. (And that's cool)
So when she's talking to them, she can't talk or rp.
We all love roleplay, but its really hard to actually do it all together. Holly usually says that she'll rp soon, and she does try, she tries really hard, but sometimes life just gets in the way, and I respect that.

I'm waiting for the day that her other friends are offline, and she comes to Calico and I, and we finally talk to each other after a lot of time. To rp without one of us needing to go afk for a few seconds, and another one of us leaves for the day/eternity. And then the other person that went afk comes back, and its just two ._.

The tea is getting cold now.
I have school tomorrow.
I hope you have a nice day/night
thats it
Goodbye