The Demon In Her Eyes

Kabanata 1

THE DEMON ONE

Aira Blyten Jinx Villarreal Walker

"Young lady, gumising na po kayo. Handa na po ang hapag kainan. Young lad---

"Leave!" I shouted. With a cold and emotionless voice.

Na umalingawngaw sa buong kwarto ko.

I'm in my bed. Sitting, thinking about what happened four years and months ago. I really couldn't believe that it would be happen, it was a nice and perfect relationship after all. But, still. Its scattered.

Its been awful without them. Things become complicated and scornful. I don't even think if I can live without her, without him, without our family complete. But, its back then. Its already a past but still painful and fresh.

But I already changed. I can live with myself alone without them, without our family, without their presence. At least I'm still blessed with my grandparents. They didn't left me alone. How I really loved them.

Alam ko. Hindi ganun kadali ang mag isang mabuhay lalo na kung wala na ang mga magulang mo. Because you need them the most more than your siblings and grandparents more than anything else. Yeah, its still depends on a situation but try to analyse it.

We humans has all different perspectives in life that could depends into a different situations.

But for me, parents are my precious gem. I love my parents. Really I am. Because they're my heroes, but came at just once. Since they left me, things got worst and messy. Everything had change.

They supported me just financially. But I don't need their money, 'cause all I want and need in my heart and my life are them. To have a complete family again. But too late and too impossible indeed.

Umalis na ako sa pagkakaupo ko sa kama ko at saka na rin naligo at nagbihis ng pangbahay. I went downstairs and go to the dining hall.

"Good morning hija, come join us" nakangiting saad ni grandma sa akin habang iginiya ako sa upuan.

"Where's manang linda and cara?" I asked. As usual with my emotionless and cold voice.

Nakasanayan ko na rin na isabay silang mag ina sa tuwing kami ay kakain. Manang linda, I owe my life also to her for taking care of me since I was baby. Since her husband become alcoholic and his mentality got worst dito na rin namin pinatira ang anak niyang babae na si Cara. When we heard na sinasaktan at minomolestiya siya ng sariling ama nito.

"They already dined, nagpunta lang sila sa mental hospital para bisitahin si Tomas. Its been a weeks since they didn't visit him." Sabi ni grandpa.

Napatango na lamang ako at saka na rin kumain.

Ngunit napabalik naman ako ng tingin kay grandpa.

"Are you going back to school, sweety? I mean you know its been a years, maybe its time for you to study in school again." Sabi ni grandpa sa akin. Like he is convincing me.

"I'll think about it."

Accelerated student ako kaya noong 14 years old pa lamang ako ay nasa fourth year high school na ako.

Since my parents finalized their divorce papers huminto na ako sa pag-aaral.

But still, pinag-home schooling naman ako nila grandpa sa States when I got there after my parents left me.

After I finish my year in fourth grade, hindi nalang muna ako nagpatuloy sa pagkolehiyo. Nalungkot sila grandma nang mabalitaan nilang ayaw ko munang pumasok ng kolehiyo. But they understand me instead of forcing me and get angry on me.

"I hope you don't mind, malapit na rin ang pasukan. Its for you and for our future also, sweety. For your own good and for us with your grandpa." Nakangiting saad naman ni grandma sa akin.

Sana yung mga ngiting iyon ay nakakainpluwensiya, pero kahit anong pilit na tawa at ngiti ay wala talagang mailalabas sa mukha ko mula sa desisyon ng puso ko tanging puro peke ang naipapakita.

Noon pa man bago pa mangyari ang lahat, hindi na talaga ako palangiti, I can feel happiness but I am rarely to smile. But now, ni katiting ay wala akong maramdamang kasiyahan even na gumagawa na ng paraan at lahat na ang grandparents ko para lang mapasaya lang ulit ako. Wala talaga.

Kadalasan ay kasungitan at galit lamang ang tanging nararamdaman at napapakita ko sa iba sa tuwing may sitwasyon na hindi talaga maganda. Lalo na kung ayaw na ayaw ko talaga.

Hindi ko sila masisisi, tanging sarili ko lang at ang nang-iwan sa akin.

Tumango lang ako. At saka na rin nagpaalam para umalis na sa hapag.

Siguro its time for me na rin. Para ipasok ko ang sarili't buhay ko sa paaralan. Total, nandiyan pa naman ang grandparents ko. Its been a long years na rin eh since when I stopped schooling. And stucked myself and life in States four years ago. At di pa lang matagal ay kababalik ko lang rin dito sa pilipinas two weeks past.

Nagpunta na lamang ako sa max room ko. Kung saan pinagawa ko ito para sa music room kung saan ako nagpapractice sa musika, kinahiligan ko narin ang tumugtog in different instruments at kumanta rin.

My max room has a 3 parts in it. Music room, painting room and a gym room. With full and complete equipments of it.

Nagpunta ako sa painting room. I just felt wanted to paint. Napapailing na lamang ako sa mga naiisip ko sa nangyayari sa buhay ko noon. I'd become far-famed because of painting, music, theater acting and known being intelligent and beauty and also for having a good and wealthiest family.

Ngayon ko lang karealize na kung gaano ako kasikat noon. Noon? Dahil hindi ko na alam kung ano na ang nangyari after I graduated high school and escaped the Philippines after they divorced and left me alone.

I also closed all my social accounts. Kaya wala na ako naririnig na issues about sa akin, at pati na rin sila sa akin. Kaya hindi ko alam, kung buhay pa ba ako sa kanila o hindi na. Siguro mayroon nang mas better and well sa lahat kaysa sa akin na pumalit.

Oh, paintings. There's a lot of paintings here that I painted. Paintings of my parents, and paintings when we are still complete. Sobrang dami ang napaint kong paintings na pamilya ko, magulang ko ang halos nandoon at laman.

Because that's how I really and badly love them. Kahit na wala na sila sa buhay ko, kahit na may mga sarili na silang pamilya I know hindi naman mawawala nang ganun kadali ang pagmamahal ko sa kanila. They are still my parents. I loved them. Pero hindi na ganun kabigat at kalalim na pagmamahal ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanila as their daughter.

Nawalan na rin akong paki sa kanila. Wala na. Tsk.

Napapangisi nalang ako ng may halong pait na nararamdaman. How we are happy in these paintings. Kay sarap tignan ang mga mata nila na sobrang alaga at mahal ako. Na animo'y ayaw akong ipamigay at itago na lamang. Like a precious gem I am for them.

Hindi ko napansin na trumaydor na pala ang mga mata ko dahil sa naaalala kong kasama ko pa silang dalawa. May mga luha na palang pumapatak sa pisngi ko.

Mabilis ko iyon pinunasan ng mga kamay ko.

Wala na. Tapos na. Wala na sila at wala na rin akong pakialam sa kanila. Its not worth it to cry again when I know the fact na hindi na kami makokompleto ulit. Like we've been before.

Agad ko naman kinuha ang isang paintboard na wala pang guhit at saka na ring nagsimula magpaint.

Sa pagpipinta ko hindi ko aakalain na sila pala ang mapipintahan ko. At ditona nga akong napahagulgol sa iyak.

Hindi ko talaga maiiwasan ang sakit na ibinigay nila sa akin noon na nadadala ko parin hanggang ngayon. Mga magulang ko sila, at ako yung tipong tao na hinding hindi gustong malayo sa pamilya at takot na maiwan lalo na nila.

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So lame. Haha. I hope you enjoyed reading in this first chapter. Let's meet again in another chapter, guys. Aishitemasu!  Please. Vote, follow, comment, share this story of mine. Arigatou.