Masking My Intentions | Jahseh Onfroy

Chapter 5

Vote.
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Jahseh

"You stupid fuck." I said as I repeatedly hit my head on my bedroom wall. I turned my back to the wall as I slid down eventually sitting on the floor.

I rocked back and forth as I held my ears.

Take your pills Jahseh

Take your pills

TAKE YOUR PILLS JAHSEH

"No no no NO!" I yelled hoping to get rid of Armenia's voices in my head. Germany's mother.

"I'm sorry Nia, I don't want to." I said as tears fell down my face. "I can't."

                              Flashback

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Bernard." The doctor said to my mother as I swung my feet from the hospital bed.

"W-What do you mean?" My mother stuttered as I looked in confusion as well.

"He's been diagnosed with bipolar and psychopathy. A misunderstood personality disorder." The doctor said as she started to cry.

"Mommy, whats he talking about?" I asked her as she shook her head.

"Nothing baby." She said to me. "Well, what can we do?"

"There's pills that we can prescribe.. it'll settle the disorders, but he must take them everyday." He said to her as she nodded. 

                       Flashback over

I took deep breaths as I stood up stumbling a bit. I walked out of my room and down the hallway towards my bathroom with my medication.

I walked into the bathroom seeing my tear stained face and my eyes looking drained. I opened the cabinet as I took out my pills. I had to take five.

I put all five into my mouth as I turned the faucet on. I filled up my cup that sat next to my sink as I drank the water feeling the pills go down my throat. I then put my face in the faucet as I rinsed my face with water.

Get it together seh seh.

Armenia said in my head as I repeatedly slammed my fist on the counter. I let out a scream from the top of my lungs as I fell to the floor.

"Stop Nia, STOP!" I yelled hitting myself in the head. I know it was all in my head. I know it is.

                                         •

"Class dismissed." I said dismissing my second period. I sat in my chair as I rubbed my forehead.

I let out a stressful groan as I got a ding on my computer letting me know someone has emailed me. I clicked on the email from the principal as I read it.

Hello Mr.Onfroy, Your student Germany Goulbourne would like to switch out from your class. It would be greatly appreciated if you'll let me know if she's approved for a switch.

Thank you,
Mr.Haukson

No, she is not. She's at an 56% score in my classroom, I'll be happy to release her at a score of 70% .

Thank you,
Mr.Onfroy

I turned away from my computer as I realized most of my class were already in and settled. My heart hurt from her wanting to change classes, I didn't mean to say what I said. I fuck everything up, but that was my whole life.

"Daily question is on the board." I said loud enough for everyone to hear.

After 5 minutes of silent work Germany came storming to my desk. She threw the late pass in my face as she sat down. I balled my fist in anger but then let them go.

Calm down Seh.

                                         •

"Everyone is dismissed, Germany stay." I said as everyone quickly let from the desk. Soon enough everyone left the classroom and I shut the door. 4th period was everyone's free time.

I turned around to see Germany looking at her desk with an empty face full of sadness. I let out a sigh as I sat in a desk next to hers.

"I'm sorry." I said to her as she scuffed.

"No, I'm sorry I ever asked you to stay." She said as I heard the disappointment in her voice. I got up from the desk as I kneeled down to her.

"I shouldn't have said it. I was ju-"

Before I knew it I was slapped across the face and pushed back. She stood up with anger in her face.

"HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT JAHSEH!" She said as she continued to push me. I felt me losing my patience by the second.

"Germany, stop touching me." I said in a serious tone as she pushed me once again.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA-" I cut her off immediately by grabbing her face and smashing my lips onto hers.

She was hesitant but kissed back. Our lips moved in sync as I grabbed her waist pulling her closer to me. I grabbed her thighs pulling her up onto the desk. Her lips were soft making me melt everytime they touched.

I felt her hands on my chest as she pushed me lightly. She hopped down from the desk as she breathed heavily.

"I- I have to go." She said quickly walking out of the classroom.

Fuck Jahseh.

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Oh man god damn😩.

~Myniah🖤~