I Have A Story To Tell

chapter #5

Veronica stiles:
Sometimes loneliness is just attached to your feelings, not in reality. You may be surrounded by the whole crowd, you may be happy but inside you feel hollowness, emptiness. Anxiety is not a phase or a time period people mention it, it's a disease in which your fear level is touched so deeply.  You don't know yourself. You don't know any more about your future. Everything that surrounds you is darkness; the darkness of your mind. the dull sound surrounds you .dullness and the negativity of the world is in you. No, actually you become the negative dark side.   the human brain normally thinks about many things but it is also known that out of that thoughts sixty thousand thoughts are of the negative side and it becomes the hardest thing to fight your own mind .......... it's almost impossible but the only thing that gives us hope is will power .the struggle of life make you tough enough to face challenges without regret.

  I Veronica Stiles the world loves me. I have everything fame, success, position, status and acute best friend Emily Dowson. But sometimes everything is just nothing. The world knows me but sometimes I question myself do I know who I am?
You must be thinking it too much philosophical thought but hey it's not my fault the weather of England at dusk time makes you like this.  Today is our last day in England. I am here alone walking against the cold winds of December. Okay, it's freezing outside but who cares I love winter and my vacation is over .tomorrow I  and Emily will be heading back to New York. I really love England. But Emily...

"Do you want to freeze there Ver ...come on " Emily shout when she saw me standing at the doorstep and not entering the house. yes, I was in my little me world, hey but don't judge me you know my name, not my game. Don't even know what I'm talking about.

"Not again ver  ....you are zoning out again.. See England do this to you..." She points a finger to my whole self.
" Thanks a lot, we are going back," she said

Emily hates England... But who cares and my deep thinking self needs a peaceful place like this but New York lack in that department. I love living there my job, my studies all belong there.

"Are you planning to come in or I have to write an application? "Emily said.

" yes... yes ...coming ...geez girl takes asa break" I smiled at her and on her utmost request enter the damn house.

"Where you were?" She asked now her motherly side provoke.

"Just gone for a walk" I answered like its not a big deal.

"Are you fine ?" She asked concern howling over her cute face.

"Yes I'm a fine mother" I smile back and remove my overcoat. It's hot inside due to the 24/7 blower installed in this house we were renting.

"Fine like hahaha I'm fine or just fine," she asked

"Now what's that suppose to mean," I asked .sometimes her questions are lame ..no its most of the time.

"Don't know" she shrugged "but just answered it"

"Okay " I rolled my eyes "fine like hahaha," I said ruffled her hairs like a child. I love doing it and she hates it.

"Not hairs girly" she shouts and runs after me .its mean war and I'm already running ...... it'ss usual.

........................................

"What are you afraid of veronica"

"Dark, loneliness, failure. And".........I stutter   " and death" I finally answer to Dr.Green questions. I can't believe I actually admit my fears to someone. I thought I'm not capable of opening up. Telling about yourself is the second difficult thing in this world and the first is finding the reason to be felt necessary; necessary to something that is nearest to heart coz there is no such sublimer feeling in the world. James Hilton thought touches mine when he wrote those magical words in his book ....don't compare me with chips though I'm not a nostalgic or the past loving person I live in present and am planning about the future one thing stops me in the middle of nowhere is my mind.