True Love

Chapter 40

Recap:

Gilinsky walks in, waves to me, and talks with the nurse. I can only hear him mumbling gibberish, though.

I start to get goosebumps.

Are they because I'm nervous, or am I just cold?

I feel like I'm just missing Matt after all of this time seeing Cam and Gilinsky take care of me like Matt would..

-

I get my food and slowly eat, one teaspoon at a time. Gilinsky sits and watches me, while Cam plays on his phone.

It feels weird just sitting here, having nothing to do. I'm usually making vines with Matt, going out to eat with him, watching him make youtube videos, or cuddling and watching movies with him.

I guess my life really does revolve around him..

I reach for the expo marker and write:

"Do you guys think I spend too much time around Matt? Are we too weird together?" It makes me feel sick just

saying that. The whole Kelly incident is on the back burner, and I hope it stays there.

"I thought you would never ask! I mean.. Um..." Gilinsky shouts.

"Well," Cam starts, "Ever since we started going on tour, it's been you two always with each other. It makes me kind of sad to see that you never spend any time with anyone else. Hopefully all of us can get together and hang out."

Cam's reply actually shocked me.

I had no idea he thought about it that way.

I erase the board and write, "Oh.. I'm sorry," tears start to slowly drip down my checks. "I feel bad now.." I set the board down at an angle where they can see it, take a gulp of my milkshake, and pull the soft blanket over my head. I feel my body curl up, and someone comes and curls up around me. It must be Gilinsky. His hands are larger than Cam's, and he's more tense. When he touches me. He's taller than me, so his entire body could circle around mine, because I'm so small and fragile.

He gets under the cover, and I hear Cam moan grumpily.

Is he really upset?

Gilinsky plays with my hair for a few minutes, and I feel like Cam wants to leave, so I lift up the blanket for Gikinsky to get out.

He looks sad when he jumps off the bed.

It just seems like everyone is mad or sad when I'm around..

Maybe I'm just a negative presence these days, and I need some time alone.